From the Tales Inbox: Does Only Child=Spoiled Child?

As much as I love being a mother to my daughter, I don't know if I want to do it all over again. Is it "bad" to only want one child?

I didn't think it was a big deal until I began mentioning it to others. I've been told that I was being selfish and that my daughter would grow up to be spoiled if she was an only child, etc, etc. I never really envisioned myself with many kids to begin with (two at tops), and after dealing with lots of ups and downs (miscarriage, fertility treatments to get pregnant, a 4th degree tear during delivery, and a touch of PPD during the first few months), I think having just one is fine in my book.

Granted, my daughter is only 8 months old and I know a lot can change, but am I setting her up for a miserable, lonely, self-centered future by only having her? (My husband knows how I feel, and although I'm pretty sure he always thought we'd have two, I think he would be okay with one).

Could You, Would You....

I have 2 daughters. They were babies once. If I had gotten these as a gift, I don't know if I could have put them on my little ones....



But, if they're your thing...then pick some up here.

Ready for Fall...already

As I type, the girls are literally wrestling on the rug. They are surrounded by pillows, blankets, each others' limbs, and they are screaming and alternating crying and laughing.

In a few minutes one of them will have a major meltdown, get over it, and then the playing will continue.

After a few cycles of this they will ask to watch tv and then zone for a while until they get hungry and then they will hate their dinnner and get out all the blankets and pillows that I have just put away while they watched tv, and just be AT each other, while begging for their second ice cream sandwich of the day.

I used to think Summer Day Camp was a parent's cop out....and that instead of shipping my kids off everyday, I should take advantage of summer and spend some time with my kids instead. That philosophy has worked pretty well since the end of June when our summer officially began, but now I am ready for Day Camp. It's too hot to swim, I am tired of their tangly hair, chlorine from swim lessons, attitudes that stem from boredness, and I am ready to get BACK into the routine.

The only requirement my future-1st-grader has is to play the violin everyday. And everyday she has a huge crying wicked-witch-of-the-west meltdown about it. The adult in me doesn't get why the kid can't get that she has all this free time and free play and I am only requiring a half hour to 45 minutes of her time FOCUSING a day!

Which makes me think she needs to focus more. Should she have to write each day? read aloud? swim more? make her own lunch? do chores?

I feel that school is so MUCH for her that she deserves a nice long break, but then again...maybe not.

Or...maybe I need a break?

"When I'm 29, I hope I'm married to the Bishop...." gag.

Ok, now I'm ready to be 30.

I have been lamenting the impending 3-0, but no longer. My DH has a new job at church. He's the Bishop.


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Ok, he's well into his 30's, so he's alright....but I seem a little young for this don't you think?

I know it's not unheard of to have a young Bishop (and wife), in fact our previous Bishop was younger than me (so I guess his wife is too? not sure, maybe we're the same age)... but growing up in the church, my experience's with Bishop's always equaled a man at LEAST in his 40's if not 50's....and his wife followed suit. My own MOTHER is a Bishop's wife right now....I mean my children's DAD and Grand DAD are Bishops!

One of our middle-aged congregation members approached me last Sunday and called me mom, because I am the Mother of the Ward.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Even though our Stake President outlined my role as "Bishop's Wife" as a definite integral role, I have been relieved to find that for the past 2 weeks of being the Bishop's wife, my role has been limited to being patient, long-suffering, enduring, and keeping the house a little tidier than normal. I have also refrained from watching television while my DH is trying to study or have quiet time (we live in a small condo, so there is a lot of overlapping space).

From my perspective, so far being the Bishop isn't THAT much different from being a counselor. He still has to be at his 5:45 meeting, I still wrangle the children alone on the bench during Sacrament Meeting, and we still miss out on Dad time for some of the afternoon on Sunday. Our phone rings more often, and he attends to his blackberry a little more. Overall, I am ok with this situation, but let me repeat, it's only been 2 weeks! I am sure I will need all the advice and support I can get. And being the "Mother of the Ward" at 30 will feel a little more welcome than in this decade we call the 20's.


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? up!?

Back to School

Hi. I am having one of those really bad days. Like, I have a headache from crying so much over basically nothing...so to mend and heal my wounds, I am aimlessly internet shopping....but not really aimlessly, actually being a little productive, so I am sharing.

I am a big fan of Mabel's Labels.

Yes, they appear pricey, but honestly....SO worth it.

They stick on everything, stay stuck, don't fade, are microwave, dishwasher, global-warming safe, and they are so nice to have on hand when there is a new school need to have to label.

GONE are the days of pulling out the sharpie and writing the wrong kids name down, or misjudging how much room there is, or having the orange sharpie you used turn pink over time, or rub off completely.

When the babysitter/daycare/school asks you to label everything, these labels are the only way to make that chore FUN.

So...go buy some.

This year I did the Combo pack which includes stickers, stickers for the inside of clothes (Sorry Linz, your girls will now have a different girls' name in their hand -me-downs), and some doggie tags for the backpack, lunchbox and violin case! There are even SHOE labels! Brilliance for the daycare...

And for the first time I googled for an online coupon and found one that worked! I just saved $15.60 on my order which covered the shipping plus 8 more bucks.

The coupon is GB08, and the website is here.

Alright, now to find a new brown flat boot, camera lens for my digital rebel and heck, maybe a new house!

From the Tales Inbox: Don't Cry For Me Argentina

I just received my mission call to the Argentina Resistencia Mission! Despite the wet, swampy, densely forested terrain, I am determined not to be a frumpy sister. I don't want to look so hideous that I bring the Argentines to tears.

While I'm not planning on being obsessive about my looks while serving a mission, I think it is important to look nice as a representative of the Lord. So how does a sister pull off getting ready in 30 minutes when she has legs to shave, eyebrows to pluck, thick hair to dry, make-up to apply, and an outfit to put together? Any tips from you moms-on-the-run? What products have saved your life? What have you learned to let go of? What's more important, hair or make-up? I'm used to a caboodle full of beauty products, how do I downsize to something more compact? Help!

-A Sister in Zion

From the Tales Inbox: Being the Second Wife

I got married 3 weeks ago. My husband and I were not sealed in the temple, but we are planning on it in a year. My husband was divorced from his first wife but they did not get a temple divorce. I knew this going into the marriage and I told him I was fine with it. Truth is, I really thought I was. But, now that we are married, I am struggling with the fact that he is still married to his first wife. How would you feel? What should I do? Or say?

-Second Wife

The Verdict: Agree or Disagree?

Many of you are probably aware of the Men on a Mission calendar put out last year. Here is the consequence of Chad Hardy's creative venture. Agree? Disagree? Think there is more to this story?

Learning to Spell...

My 5 year old's new favorite activity is to write stories. He sounds out the words that he needs and throws in a few of his own design. It's entertaining to watch him put it all together; I'm grateful that he enjoys learning and reading/writing.

But...

This morning at the kitchen table this was our conversation:

Son: Mom, what letters make the "oo" sound?

Mom: Oh, that's two "o"'s together.

Son: Thanks.

Time passes...

I go back to the table to see that he has written "boos".

Mom: You wrote "boos". What is that? Did you mean "boo" or "book"?

Son: (said with a big grin) Nope. I was writing "boobs". I WANT TO WRITE BOOBS!

I am now seriously considering homeschooling as I cannot imagine sending this kid to kindergarden in one month...

BPA

Everyone and their mother (get it) is having newborn babies right now.

I am not one of them, but due to the high populace of babies around me, and because I have a new niece, my radars are up for newborn stuff. It's fascinating how things change so much in 6 and even 3 years....having a newborn today would be different from my first two newborns...already!?

This article raises the latest in baby Issues. It also links to the specific affects of BPA on humans.

The affects are not good. Endometriosis and Breast Cancer stood out to me when I read over the article. Doesn't it seem that there has been quite an increase of those conditions? Wouldn't it be great if we could trace it back to what kind of bottles patients were fed on in infancy? I mostly used the liners for #1 baby, though I do not know if they were BPA-free, and I used Avent for #2. I figure, I have sufficiently exposed my little ones to the bad stuff.

The good side is that my children did not use bottles past one year, and I did not heat up their milk like crazy all-the-time, and very rarely did I heat up the sippy cup. And now I have switched to Sigg bottles, so it's a non-issue.

So, all you moms of newborns out there, have you made the switch to BPA-free. Are you wigged out by these new reports? What's your status?

Time to Get Moving!

Alright, it's time to lose baby weight... again.

So I'm wondering, what is your most motivating piece of advice for getting back to "yourself"? Here's one of mine: Set a realistic goal. Not a crazy, Hollywood-type goal of losing it all and fitting into your skinny jeans by your six week appointment. And be patient. I try to focus just as much on feeling strong and energetic, as I do the numbers on the scale or how my clothes fit.

This time around one of my problems is that I'm so bored with all of my old health food stand-bys. I need to get excited about eating healthy with some new recipes or a new find at Trader Joes or my local grocery store. I do love the farmers market so that helps me get motivated to eat fresh fruits and veggies. Maybe I should invest in Carrie's cookbook.

And hey, if all else fails, just sign your toddler up for swim class where you're forced to get in a bathing suit seven weeks after delivery. YIKES! Obviously I'm not looking forward to that one.

So what works for you???? Give up your best diet and/or exercise tips for getting back to yourself post-baby.

Roaches and Tea Tree

A few Updates Talesies...

So....those of you who bought the Tea Tree Toner....how is it going? Is it working miracles for you like it has for me?

And second, Ms. Roach stopped by and commented on the post I put up a few weeks ago. You can read more about her adventures at her blog here.

And how about those Williams' Sisters? Can you IMAGINE playing against your own sister at Wimbledon?

From the Tales Inbox: Fixing a Family Member Phobia

My 2 year old daugther is frightened of my brother-in-law.

It is a recent event. He broke his ankle in the last few weeks and has a cast on it and walks with crutches. She has never been super outgoing to him, but now she won't even look at him and clams up and snuggles into our shoulders. She sometimes starts shaking.

I am not as concerned about it as my husband it, but would still like to figure out what to do. She had her b-day party this last week so he kind of layed low, but we have another family gathering this week and I don't want him to have to be secluded from her. We are not sure what to do and I have asked around and looked online, but am not sure how to handle it.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks,
A Confused Mom

Need a Laugh?

You have to check out this new satirical blog.

Warning: If you don't understand the "complexities" of a sterotypical mormon girl, or you are a sterotypical mormon girl, you might not laugh at all.

This Time Around

I like to think of myself as a minimalist when it comes to baby gear. I think it has something to do with living in NYC with my first two children in a 700sq ft apartment. There just wasn't room for much "gear". This time around, I have picked up, inherited or have been gifted a few ingenious products (most of which weren't even around when I had my first two) that I never want to live without again.

1. SwaddleMe wrap - Got this little invention as a gift from one of the coolest/funniest women I know. Not only is mine the organic version, it was lovingly hand-embellished with a cowboy. I know you are probably saying - "Can't you just swaddle with a receiving blanket?" Yes I can, but this blanket stays swaddled unlike any other and it isn't bulky or too warm (important for a so cal baby in house without central air). At first glance I thought it was a little gimmicky, but after the first three months, it has proven it's worth.

2. Nursing Cover - I'm not the flashy type, but I am also not the woman who likes to cloister herself in a smelly bathroom or "mom's room" to nurse. Blankets draped over the shoulder have worked in the past when I have wanted to nurse discreetly in public, but now that I am the proud owner of a nursing cover, I will NEVER go back. I feel like the cover has given me the confidence to nurse anywhere and everywhere (I guess nursing my third baby should give me more confidence too).

3. Born Free Bottles - This whole BPA-free bottle thing is new since my last baby. I needed new bottles this time around, so I read this report and chose these ones. I really like the wide necked bottles like Avent and the air vent feature like Dr. Brown's (both of which I have used in the past and are on the list of worst BPA leaching offenders). And I actually really enjoy the amber colored BPA-free plastic.

4. Johnny's Socks by Trumpette - Baby shoes are so first child. These socks are the coolest thing I rescued out of the bags full of neighbor friend's hand-me-downs.

5. Lily Padz - These breast "pads" are pretty amazing. I can wear them underneath a sports tank or swimsuit without any lines showing. Don't know how they would work for someone who leaks a lot, but for me, they've been perfect for mountain biking excursions away from baby.

6. Toyota Sienna 8 passenger minivan - Well, this wasn't gifted or "picked up" recently. And I'm not saying you have to go out and buy a new minivan, but I cannot ignore the huge part my van has played in keeping my sanity now that I am a mother of three. Automatic doors rule and the "front and center" seat (the middle seat in the middle row) is amazing. It independently moves way forward so I can actually reach the baby from the driver's seat without doing contortions and risking the life of everyone in the car.

Still using this time around: Baby Bjorn Carrier
Not being used this time around: Boppy
Another thing I would like to try out this time around: Bumbo Baby Seat