17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Baby Shower Advice Needed

I want to throw a baby shower for a good friend in my ward. This is her situation:

*she had twin girls
*they returned home from the ICU just a couple of weeks ago after being born at 30 weeks
*she also has a 3-year old daughter and a husband who works long hours and travels as an attorney
*she is really shy about having a baby shower and feels like the ward and her friends have already helped her. (I disagree....I think she needs to celebrate their arrival, but understand her feelings because I am shy about this kind of stuff as well)

I had previously planned a shower for her before the babies were born. However, it was postponed when she went into the hospital with preterm contractions. Now I am trying to rework the shower keeping in mind her new circumstances. I am specifically looking for fun themes for twins (I've never attended a twin shower) and ways to incorporate her specific needs as a new mom into the new shower.

Any ideas?


  • I would suggest maybe having those comfortable donating some babysitting time. Having a 3 year old and twin newborns along with a husband that works and travels a lot deserves some babysitting time.

    If those who aren't comfortable babysitting, maybe they could run errands for her, do laundry, clean house, etc...

    Really the gift of time would probably be the most helpful thing for her right now.

    You could theme the shower "Time" and do clock sugar cookies or cupcakes...
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 10/27/2008 03:01:00 PM  

  • Donations of disposable diapers! (that is our ward`s set "gift" for new babies. (OK, so its not very ecological, but with along with the previously suggested gift of time, I think it is something that would be very appreciated)
    posted by Anonymous namakemono at 10/27/2008 03:05:00 PM  

  • the diapers are a wonderful idea. Another: FROZEN DINNERS. There are tons of books you can borrow that have recipes especially suited for freezing. Imagine stocking her freezer (each meal in a gallon sized ziploc or similar) with food to get her through the hectic future!
    posted by Blogger Julie P at 10/27/2008 03:39:00 PM  

  • I would recommend having it without the babies in attendance. The mother is probably stressed about germs and rsv and those premies will be at risk for a long time. But if you can schedule it at a time when she can comfortably leave the babies behind then I think it could be fun.

    But she is probably stressed and while everyone wants to see the babies, a no baby baby shower could be best.

    (three friends with 4-6 week early babies, its really scary and probably worth keeping them away for a while)

    Good luck.
    posted by Blogger Angela at 10/27/2008 03:44:00 PM  

  • I'd say frozen dinners. My sister had twins. She needed help/time but was wary of letting in help because of the germ factor with two pre term babies. But eating enough, particularly since she was trying to nurse for two, was an impossible task. Those first few months 18+ hours a day were spent nursing or changing diapers... no time to sleep much less make a meal.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 10/27/2008 03:45:00 PM  

  • All of the ideas above are great! Honestly most anything would probably be helpful...even if its a "clean" theme (laundry detergent, diapers, bath stuff. Obviously if you are looking for a cutesy theme you could go with 2 peas in a pod and do the food thing, or whatever! I think anything practical will be especially helpful, twice the baby means twice the diapers, laundry, late night feedings, etc. (And yeah I am a twin and I probably drove my mother to insanity, or at least fatigue.
    posted by Blogger Becca at 10/27/2008 04:09:00 PM  

  • For my 3rd and 4th child, I didn't want a baby shower. I didn't want people bringing gifts. I did, however, want a girl's night. So when friends asked, I told them to plan a party with games (I love playing games). That way I got to be the center of attention, talk about the upcoming birth (in the next few days) have a ton of fun with friends and acquaintances but I didn't have to feel awkward about asking for gifts since I could afford to buy the things I needed (even though I'd given away everything after baby 3).
    So, think about calling it something else "Sally says she doesn't want a baby shower, but we want to plan a girl's night out for her" type of thing.
    Good luck!
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 10/27/2008 09:03:00 PM  

  • yeah, I was about to suggest the girls game night idea. Have it after the babies are asleep or when her husband can be home with them.
    posted by Blogger cchrissyy at 10/27/2008 09:06:00 PM  


    These were all really good ideas...I am intrigued by the "clean" theme and the "time" theme. I think game night is a great backup plan if she is still uncomfortable with a shower. I appreciate the comments!
    posted by Blogger Jen at 10/29/2008 09:57:00 AM  

  • As usual I am no good for advice, but I like the Time theme. Having dinners brought in is something I would love too, but that's me. I would appreciate that more than cleaning just because I can survive for a few weeks as a new mom in a not so clean house, but if I don't eat, watch out. What does SHE need the most?
    Girls nights are always fun too!
    posted by Blogger Melissa at 10/29/2008 03:06:00 PM  

  • Not a lot of advice about a twins shower. Everyone else's ideas sound great. Maybe give her some options and have her choose. But don't give her the option of choosing nothing. She either gets to state her preference or tell her you will choose for her and it may be a big embarrassing, frilly baby shower.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 10/30/2008 10:29:00 AM  

  • As a mom of two preemies, the best baby shower gift I received (a group gift) was a housekeeper for a few months. When dealing with high needs babies and a million doctors and specialists along with toddler, there is no time to clean, do laundry, etc.

    Also, I second Angela about the no baby baby shower. A lot of people don't understand the threat of rsv to a preemie and think we are being hyper vigilant but believe me, the thought of having to go back to the hospital is pretty scary.

    Babysitting is a great idea but need to consider the above threat of rsv and sickness from other kids. With both of my preemies, I was stuck at home all winter - no church, no long public outings because of that threat. So keep that in mind.

    If your friend doesn't want any gifts for herself, maybe think of making or donating baby hats or blankets to the NICU her babies were at. I still hold dear to my heart the many blankets and hats that my son got during the Holiday season from donations.
    posted by Blogger Elise at 10/31/2008 09:21:00 PM  

  • I think the best thing that could happen is that they do at home and are organized for cleaning and to help Mom. a few games that do not involve a scuffle and a simple meal.
    posted by Anonymous viagra online at 5/31/2010 02:03:00 PM  

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