17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Crib Notes: Love & Logic

What kind of parent are you? A Helicopter, Drill Sergeant or Consultant? This parenting book, Love & Logic by Foster Cline, MD and Jim Fay will take you through many steps of how to be a consultant parent to help your children navigate their own problems and solutions so when they are older they can make wise decisions on their own. Foster and Fay believe in allowing children to decide for themselves (with some guidance) when they are young, (not hovering or barking orders at them) to allow children to make mistakes and learn life lessons when mistakes still have an "affordable pricetag."

There are many dialogue examples to help you dissolve power struggles with eating, bedtime, and chores, just to name a few, and helping them get ready for the demands of school, homework and social pressures that will surround them all their life.

Love & Logic means loving your kids so much that you let them use their agency and therefore they suffer the consequences of what that choice may be. It's never too early or too late to start parenting with love and logic.

A great book for those of you who feel you do not have control of your parenting situation, or if you find time-outs and the like are not really working.


  • Can I just say...I am a huge fan of L&L. My babe is too young for it, but I have used it in the classroom, and it is magic with middle schoolers and older grade schoolers in particular. Love it.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 9/24/2008 07:29:00 AM  

  • I really really like the book...but sometimes I have trouble figuring out what the "natural consequences" should be for my kids when they misstep.
    Sometimes it is obvious, but sometimes I have to spend some time thinking about it and the moment is lost.
    posted by Blogger Jen at 9/24/2008 07:34:00 AM  

  • This book seems like it might be right up my alley. Thanks for the recommendation.
    posted by Blogger Beth at 9/25/2008 11:11:00 PM  

  • My aunt teaches a class on L&L. I'm taking it right now and it is so much better than just reading the book. It gives you a chance to apply what you learn and it lets you ask questions. Highly recommend it! A new class starts in January. Here's a link for it:


    Even if you don't live near Draper, people teach this class in many areas.
    posted by Blogger Ashley at 9/26/2008 12:05:00 AM  

  • I liked many of the ideas of the book, but I didn't care for the tone. It bugged me that the authors used words like "monster" and "brat" to refer to children (it's been awhile, so I can't remember the exact language, but there were words with that kind of feel), and I hated the chapter comparing teaching toddlers to training dogs. I just found that kind of terminology quite offensive, and it made it hard for me to trust the rest of the advice. I felt like the authors were trying to be funny, but it wasn't funny to me--it was disrespectful and demeaning.

    I did hear from someone that it might help to take a class instead of reading the book. They had taken a class and found the tone, because of the instructor's personality, to be very different, very loving and positive.
    posted by Anonymous eljee at 10/01/2008 09:27:00 PM  

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