17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

A Question Re: Jumping on the "Big Love" Protest Bandwagon

Many of you may have already recieved the following e-mail regarding a mormon campaign to cancel the HBO series "Big Love". I got two of them forwarded to me just today. My question is, would you feel right "joining the campain" if you had never seen an episode of Big Love? Would you take "their" word for it that it was offensive enough to the LDS church to be pulled off the air?

I feel like propaganda runs on both sides of the street and the only way I would ever feel good about being so proactive about pulling a show off a non-network channel is if I was actually offended by watching the show. Having someone tell me that I should be offended is not enough. But that's my opinion. I realize that many members will never see the show because of it's explicit rating. That is totally understandable. Actually, the explicit rating seems more of a substantive reason to want a show off the air than what is layed out in the "Cancel Big Love" forwarded e-mail. But if you jump into the campaign for that reason, I hope your fingers are ready for a lot of typing because you got a lot more shows you need to complain about.

Note: If you would like to give a review of Big Love, rant about Big Love, or rave about Big Love, don't do it here. I am sure you can find another outlet for that conversation on another blog. What I want to know again is: Would you feel right "joining the campain" if you had never seen an episode of Big Love? (You could actually substitute "an episode of Big Love" any other thing that others might find offensive and call you to action). It's a real question for those who haven't watched it and a hypothetical for those who have.

The Infamous "Cancel Big Love" Forwarded E-mail:

HBO’s new series, “Big Love”, is about a polygamous family and is set in a Salt Lake City suburb. About the likely impact of this sexually driven show, the New York Times said, “We may never look at Utah and think white bread again.”

Parodies of beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints occur- belief in priesthood by a man blessing his hunting rifle, belief in personal revelation from the Holy Ghost by dramatic visions that the polygamous leader discusses casually with a friend. Talk of “celestial kingdom”, “free agency”, and the “Choose the Right” slogan are included. There is a brief disclaimer stating that the polygamists don’t have an active connection with the LDS Church. But if the writers don’t intend for viewers to make the connection, one wonders why they set the show in Salt Lake City, the Church’s world headquarters, and why they included distortions of LDS beliefs.

NBC recently cancelled a show about a dysfunctional Episcopal priest who saw a “Jesus”, after almost 700,000 people emailed and complained.

Couldn’t we do the same for this show? If you agree, will you:
- forward this email to at least 8 people
- email a polite protest to HBO:

Go to www.hbo.com, scroll to bottom of page, click Contact Us, click on The Sopranos (unless Big Love is listed when you do so), scroll to the light blue box near page bottom, on the line just under Submit an Email, click on Contact Us.Then enter your information, specify it’s about Big Love, and leave a message asking them to cancel this offensive show.

One or two sentences is all it takes. Or feel free to copy or edit this message:

I am offended that you would produce the series “Big Love”. It demeans and distorts sacred beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. By setting the show in Salt Lake City, it blurs the line between the Church and the long renounced practice of polygamy. Additionally, it is morally reprehensible to showcase an abusive family situation as entertainment. Please cancel “Big Love” immediately.


  • I don't feel right joining this campaign because I have not seen the show. I also do not plan to ever watch the show. I too got two emails yesterday and today. I couldn't even read it after the first paragraph, nor did I read it here. I just think that I am a big girl now, and I can choose what I watch or don't watch and what I think of what I do or don't watch. Meaning, if a show or entire network offends me or has the potential of offending me, than I personally am NOT going to participate. If I watch something that gives a point of view on another religion or group of people, and it is for entertainment or informational purposes, I am going to do further research before I judge the next person that I meet who is in that group. I say we spend more time finding a cure for cancer than wasting time forwarding emails telling people what to do about stupid HBO (or any other offensive thing).
    posted by Blogger Kage at 3/28/2006 06:40:00 PM  

  • I don't think HBO would ever cancel a show based on such a campaign. I would suggest the reason why NBC cancelled their show was because when they lose viewers, they also lose advertising dollars - which is the whole reason why network television exists. Since HBO doesn't have to answer to advertisers, they would have no reason to cancel a show. (Now if they lost significant number of paying subscribers, they may change their tune.)

    It's also interesting to note that Italian American groups have been protesting The Sopranos for years, with no effect whatsoever.

    I have watched Big Love so far, and even thought it isn't a "family" show, I quite enjoy it.
    posted by Anonymous Dallas Robbins at 3/28/2006 07:06:00 PM  

  • I have seen all three episodes. Respecting your wish not to make this into a Big Love thread, my response to your specific question is that I would not join this campaign. I too have received this email, from a couple in our ward, who I suspect would never watch and have never watched the show.

    One of the things HBO enjoyed pre-Big Love was an incredible publicity boost, partly as a result of the Church's own vocal opposition. To me, this type of campaign only feeds the interest and speculation about the series. I am also troubled by people who have never seen the series making value judgments and advocating that it be pulled from HBO.

    Finally, HBO is not the same as a broadcast television station. It is not the same as NBC, and under the law has different legal standards which apply. Good post!
    posted by Blogger Guy Murray at 3/28/2006 07:32:00 PM  

  • I hope that people from the church who join this campaign AT LEAST read up on the show so they really understand what it's about AND write an original, thoughtful letter to HBO. It really doesn't reflect well on church members to just copy and paste a preworded protest letter. And, no...I haven't watched the show and won't be participating in the protest.
    posted by Blogger Jen at 3/28/2006 08:15:00 PM  

  • I'd join such a campaign if people I knew and trusted and whose opinions I knew generally matched mine mentioned it. While I agree that it is better to protest something that you've actually experienced, there are some experiences you're better off without. I don't need to see the swearing, sex and cynicism rampant on so many shows to know that these are things I don't want to see. As viewers we have to do more than simply not watch the show. We have to tell the companies why we object, why they're not getting our money, and maybe then it'll sink in and we'll start seeing more shows like "Joan of Arcadia," or "My Name Is Earl" that uplift as well as entertain.
    posted by Anonymous Proud Daughter of Eve at 3/28/2006 08:20:00 PM  

  • I got the e-mail too, and I haven't seen the show, and thus cannot and will not contribute my voice to the protests.

    HBO is paid programming- not free network television available to anyone- and thus is immune to the kind of pressure put on NBC. And, let's just underscore, PAID programming, by adults exercising their agency in choosing what they watch. Not something I'm interested in regulating, thank you very much.

    It's no different than a movie at a theatre people pay to see. And I don't protest those, either, other than to not go.
    posted by Blogger Tracy M at 3/28/2006 09:52:00 PM  

  • I got this email. I just don't get it. I've read at least ten articles about the show, and each one included a prominent discussion of the difference between Mormon polygamists and Latter-day Saints. And apparently, that's emphasized in the series, as well.

    I am frankly thrilled that a whole bunch of people are learning enough about the issue that maybe they'll stop asking my husband and I to tell them about our secret polygamous life, because maybe they'll figure out that we don't have one.

    Besides, I grew up in Utah, and I've known people--admittedly, unusual people--who did things like blessing their hunting rifles. Hey, if I were one of the show's non-Mormon writers, I'd have thrown in that sort of cultural detail. It would be hard to resist.
    posted by Anonymous Serenity Valley at 3/28/2006 10:19:00 PM  

  • Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

    And woe especially those who send out emails, hoping that you will be offended because they say you ought to be offended.
    posted by Blogger Mark N at 3/29/2006 12:06:00 AM  

  • I'm never one to jump on these bandwagons when I don't really know what's going on. I've been hearing a lot of buzz lately but by making such a big deal about the show, are we just adding legitimacy to it's claims of representing LDS faith? I don't know.
    posted by Blogger The Daring One at 3/29/2006 12:19:00 AM  

  • I will not join the campaign and I have watched two episodes of this show. It seems that a fictional story, though powerful, is still fiction. And if an intelligent audience (who are for or against the church, polygamy, or other matters)cannot separate fiction from reality, then they are the poorer for it. Wouldn't it be awful if every show on telelvision or every book written were a replay of reality. I respect a writer's, producer's, or painter's right to represent what they see as real in a fictional format, whether I agree with it or not.
    posted by Blogger Maralise at 3/29/2006 07:21:00 AM  

  • Unfortunately our church is filled with many blind followers, just like any other large group. I heard positive things about Big Love, anyway.

    I would NOT join the protest without knowing plenty more about it or at least watching it. People also flipped out over Desperate Housewives when it's so mild compared to the rest of what's out there.
    posted by Blogger Squiddy at 3/29/2006 08:07:00 AM  

  • I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, either. I've recieved 5 emails so far...

    It's interesting to me that this email is even out there. The Deseret News did a bunch of articles on this and it seemed to me that the producers of Big Love are being careful of letting the public know these aren't LDS people being portrayed. And it's also interesting that the majority of the LDS people sending me this letter live outside Utah and so they probably don't even read the Deseret News.

    On another note about protesting, I had signed up with the AFA because I agreed with many things they were promoting and fighting against. I've since stopped listening to them --Why would I care about something I'm already protesting by not indulging in it? By not watching it?

    What I HATE even more, is that they then send you a clip from the offensive show they want you to protest. Oh, yes, I would love to see and hear and enjoy sexual perverse things that will be eternally in my mind before I decide to protest it. HUH?!?!?

    I guess I differ a little bit in that regard because I don't want to watch something "just to make sure" that the protest is warranted. I'd rather just not watch it and not worry about it...hmmm...not quite pro-active am I...
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 3/29/2006 08:20:00 AM  

  • I vote and protest with my money and patronage. I don't have TV but if I did I would think that cancelling my subscription to HBO would send a much more potent message than a copy-pasted email.
    posted by Blogger Starfoxy at 3/29/2006 08:21:00 AM  

  • I've seen the show. There is no blurring the lines b/t the church and the family in the show. They are clearly outside of Mormonism and even outside of the polygamous "cult" that forms one of the plot lines.
    There are reasons to not watch the show. Blurring the line b/t polygamy and Mormonism is not one of them.
    posted by Anonymous TrailerTrash at 3/29/2006 08:28:00 AM  

  • If the mainstream LDS church doesn't think polygamist offshoots exist in Salt Lake City suburbs then I guess they've never heard of the Kingstons or the Allreds.

    I think the show does a good job of showing the difference between those living a polygamist lifestyle and those in the mainstream chruch. The difference is especially noticeable between the teenage daughter of the polygamist family and her friend and co-worker who is a member of the mainstream chruch. In fact, many of the storylines revolve around the poly family trying to keep their life secret from the members of the mainstream church. If anything, this should help get out the word that the mainstream church doesn't practice polygamy anymore (except for in the CK).
    posted by Anonymous Wendy at 3/29/2006 08:30:00 AM  

  • As I find the thrust of their argument to be incorrect, I would not participate in this campaign.

    It's important to remember that the show is not a parody of LDS belief. It is a somewhat accurate portrayal of one of the many 'spin off' churches that share our roots in the restoration.

    Their beliefs are similar, but not the same. That does not make them a parody of ours--any more than protestants are a parody of Catholics, y'know?

    The show takes place in SLC because that is, in fact, a place of concentration of polygamous population. Not everybody lives in Colorado City, y'know...

    So, it's not actually us that the show is portraying, and there is no parody. People may see similarities, but that stems from common roots. There are many, many 'splinter groups' that have broken away from the church over the decades for whatever reasons.

    So, I would object to this campaign as making LDS look ignorant of their own fellow restorationist churches. I have not seen the show myself, but would love to...Anybody tivo/dvd it by chance??? After that, I coudl say whether I objected to it on other grounds, but I would never object based on the premise of this email. It's just ignorant. (as in, without knowledge, not as in the insult sense)
    posted by Anonymous Naiah at 3/29/2006 10:28:00 AM  

  • I definitely won't be participating. Not only is this the lazy persons protest (e-mail), but I think it seems poorly organized and not at all sure of what its protesting. Is the show really a parody of LDS beliefs?

    Specifically sited in the email is "belief in personal revelation from the Holy Ghost by dramatic visions" and "Talk of 'celestial kingdom', 'free agency', and the 'Choose the Right' slogan are included." Are those not things that we believe in? Like it or not we have a lot in common with FLDS communities.

    Additionally, no one at HBO is trying to agree that the main characters on the show are LDS. Much of the confusion I think could lie in the fact that these characters are in an LDS centered community.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 3/29/2006 01:38:00 PM  

  • I think "God moves in a mysterious way." I set let the chips fall as they may.
    posted by Blogger Christian Adams at 3/29/2006 02:05:00 PM  

  • having recieved the same email about 15 thousand times and never having responded, I can safely say NO, I won't be sending in my regrets about the show.
    They have not "made it clear" that this isn't about our church, they agreed to air ONE disclaimer: At the end of the very first episode. And anyone who has heard people talking about the show knows that they are saying things like "It's about a Mormon guy with a bunch of wives". I guess it's up to us to remind them that it's not.
    And since when has HBO been all about quality family programming? It's a pay channel for a reason!!
    Side note: I bet that if all the members who don't admit they watch HBO cancelled their service, it would be felt. Sex & the City and Band of Brothers were staples in our house back in the day!!
    posted by Blogger Mo Mommy at 3/29/2006 02:24:00 PM  

  • Those who circulate these letters are unwittingly publicizing the show they hate so much. The best way for them to get this show off the air is to ignore it and put their hands over their mouths. And since most of them probably have not watched the show, they have no idea what they are protesting against. I think it was Brigham Young who said to people who bad mouthed the Mormons, "Just make sure you get our name right" or something like that. Very little publicity is bad publicity.
    posted by Blogger Craig Atkinson at 3/29/2006 04:16:00 PM  

  • I have seen this one following in the wake of the other:

    Please read the following and respond according to your heart.

    HBO’s new series “Big Love” is a long overdue treatise of the God inspired principle of Celestial Marriage. It has a Hollywood flare to it, but in the long run it is likely to positively portray to a modern society the cultural and spiritual benefits associated with the divine institution of the Eternal Traditional Marriage. It is wonderful they chose to present this in Salt Lake City so Mormonism can get credit for the beauty and blessings of the practice the church restored to the earth over a hundred and seventy years ago, and perhaps fulfill the prophetic dream of renewing and perpetuating the family plan practiced by our Father and Mothers in heaven. Though we continue to have multiple eternal sealings in our temples today, this made for TV series may be the much prayed for catalyst for a return to the earth of the full blessings of Eternal Traditional Families.

    I encourage you to demonstrate your active support for this divine principle and help us restore the Eternal Traditional Family to the earth in these latter-days by going to www.hbo.com, scroll to bottom of page, click on “Contact Us” and let them know you are grateful for their artistic efforts, or clip and paste this message:

    I am very pleased to see your series “Big Love” deals with such an important issue as plural marriage. It promotes one of the most sacred principles ever brought to earth through the revelations of God by the prophetic voice of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We hope your series may be a vehicle in restoring as at first the legal practice of the Eternal Traditional Family. It is my hope that “Big Love” may be extremely successful and run until the unconstitutional restriction on this scriptural practice can be removed and the blessings once again be enjoyed by all who choose to serve and obey their God. I will be watching weekly and encouraging my neighbors and large extended family to do the same.
    posted by Anonymous Leon at 3/29/2006 04:54:00 PM  

  • I feel this campaign is silly. Like stated before, HBO wouldn't pull a show based on this kind of protest - it isn't a network show, it works differently!

    Dh and I saw the first 2 episodes of the show while staying in a hotel for a conference (we don't have HBO). We didn't know anything about it and when we realized what it was about, we were curious and watched it. Actually, it was pretty interesting and a bit funny - though wowee, HBO allows lots of language and sex! Anyway, I didn't find it offensive toward our beliefs one bit. There were lines and phrases that definitely come from the LDS jargon, but they made us think that the writers really did a lot of research and got some things right.

    One point the show made that we thought was interesting was when Bill Paxton's character said of his first wife, "She still misses LDS." Also, the interaction between the teenage girls working together seemed to us, to show the LDS side of things in a positive light. The LDS girl, while trying a bit too hard, is shown as a very sincere, sweet girl trying to befriend the girl from the polygamist family. LDS girl said something to the other girl to the effect of, "I don't agree with polygamy."

    Anyway, that's my take. We don't have HBO, we won't be ordering it, we won't be watching any more episodes, though I'm glad at least I have some insight into the show now that I keep getting the same forwarded message. I think the church will be just fine.
    posted by Anonymous Mary at 3/29/2006 05:12:00 PM  

  • Amen to all that has been said about not joining some silly bandwagon without checking things out for yourself AND the notes about the differences between NBC & HBO--galaxies, people!

    I just wanted to add a comment about "The Book of Daniel," the series cited in the infamous mass emailing as controversial and cancelled on NBC because of dutiful protesters. I watched most, if not all, of the episodes that aired (I had no idea it was controversial until after it wasn't on anymore and I had to figure out why) and found the portrayal of Jesus the least unbelievable/offensive thing about this series. In fact, I'm going to go crazy here and say that the relationship between the priest (Aiden Quinn--doing a fine job bringing real reactions to ridiculously unreal situations) and his hallucinatory Jesus was my favorite part of the series. I enjoy watching how other people imagine their relationship with God. We all have to work it out for ourselves, and I LIKED that this priest felt his connection was so close and personal. It makes me think about my own relationship, and that's not a bad thing. Cancelling the show might have been a fine idea, but it should have been done because the situations the characters got into went beyond silly into contrived, not because a character talked to Christ.

    I'm starting to wonder if anyone is actually responding to "Big Love," or if they're all just hitting forward on their emails.
    posted by Blogger newmom at 3/29/2006 05:25:00 PM  

  • I am glad you did this Carrie, per our conversation, I was afraid you wouldn't post anything. I obviously won't partake in any such nonsense just because I am being told I should. The petition further sparked my interest and I went out of my way to watch the first two episodes and I won't watch it anymore, simply cuz I didn't love it. It was not as good as I was hoping it would be.
    posted by Blogger Zinone at 3/29/2006 06:30:00 PM  

  • It is worth it to take the time to compare the forwarded email with the Church's press release response:


    In my opinion, the emailer completely missed the boat and the Church hit it head on. I won't be joining the silly campaign...
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 3/29/2006 09:29:00 PM  

  • So now I am wondering, where are all the people that are forwarding this e-mail? There are a lot of them out there if many of us have received the e-mail numerous times. They either don't read this blog or are too afraid to comment I guess.

    I went back to the two e-mails I got today and one was actually forwarded to me from someone who recieved it from the "Fairfax VA Ward e-mail". It also had this paragraph added to the beginning:

    "We need to act fast everyone. This sort of image confusion can potentially reverse years of progress in the church's coming forth out of obscurity. Please take a minute to object via HBO's website."

    I find the fact that it was sent from the ward e-mail list very troublesome. There is no doubt that some (or many) members of the ward might have felt there was some "authority" behind what the e-mail said which made it their "duty" to pass it along.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 3/29/2006 10:28:00 PM  

  • "This sort of image confusion can potentially reverse years of progress in the church's coming forth out of obscurity"

    dictionary.com defines obscurity:
    The quality or condition of being unknown

    I think that this show is making us very known.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 3/30/2006 04:30:00 AM  

  • Yes, Carrie, I do think people with differing opinions are afraid to post. Especially after the blasting people who differ from the majority received after the tatoo post. And, not all people love participating in a hot debate.

    I don't think "joining the bandwagon" is such a big deal. Who cares--send an email that says you don't like what the show says or how it confuses people about your religion. We may not all have such time for research. It's just an email. If it were more of an impactful committed protest, then yes, do your research and be in it for good. My neighbor came to me a few weeks ago wondering about the show. She is so worried for me because it makes it look like regular ol' mormons are the ones practicing polygamy. She, like many, may not take the time to notice the differences. All it takes is a billboard or commercial or partial show viewing to start assuming they're talking about Mormons.

    You may all find a dozen problemns with my arguement and I don't care. I just don't think that sending a preworded or reworded email is such a bad thing. And nobody's making anybody be offended. Just bringing it to people's attention--that there's something here you may be concerned about.

    And by the way, isn't this blog supposed to be about motherhood somehow?
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 3/30/2006 07:39:00 AM  

  • Ok, I do not usually participate in things like this email. But here is why I forwarded it to all my friends -
    I noted, first of all, that i do not support censorship. Nor do i expect HBO to take the show off the air. There is no way they ever will. But, while I find single episodes of shows and jokes here and there no big deal, and while I realize we are very good at making fun of ourselves (and there is lots to make fun), I do not feel this show was designed to be good spirited humor. It is designed to mock our church and Utah in general (im not even from utah but still). Disclaimers were added, sure...but, only after pressure from our church. Sure, they can mock us, but I dont think we should just sit by, subscribe, and not even stick up for ourselves. HBO should know we care, we're watching, and we do not want to be misrepresented in any way. So I asked my friends, if they wanted to, to let HBO know we don't think its cool for them to use us in such a way. I didnt pressure them into it, I just said how I felt about it.
    Just so you know, all of my non-member friends chose to send an email to HBO.
    I have been stressing about this decision ever since wondering if I did the right thing, and I keep coming back to the same conclusion (though my husband disagrees and will not be emailing HBO - he thinks all publicity is good publicity). I just feel we need to be one of the voices out there, and if an organization that is not necessarily friendly to the church is going to be portraying our church, culture, history in a mocking and false light, to be entombed in such a manner in pop culture forever...well, we should stick up for ourselves and let them know how we feel about it. And I feel good about my decision, and no one has complained about me sending them the email, even if they choose not complain to HBO.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 3/30/2006 08:00:00 AM  

  • Here's my opinion: I agree with anonymous, at the end of the day, it's just an email. Send it, don't send it - why all the drama? I've got enough drama in my life without wondering if I should "jump on the bandwagon".

    We subscribe to HBO (can't wait for "Entourage" to start up again) and if I actually had time I'd take a look at "Big Love" and judge it for myself. I don't need an email campaign or any other kind of pressure to tell me what I should or shouldn't be watching/supporting. I'll make that decision myself.
    posted by Blogger chloe at 3/30/2006 08:32:00 AM  

  • Anon who said:
    "Yes, Carrie, I do think people with differing opinions are afraid to post. Especially after the blasting people who differ from the majority received after the tattoo post."

    While I don't think anyone was "blasted" for having a differing opinion on the tattoo post, I do believe that it is not easy to voice an opinion that is in the minority on a blog. So I understand when people choose to stay silent. On the other hand, if you feel strongly enough to voice your opinion to HBO, you should be able to do it here as well.

    I admire Anon who gave real thought to the e-mail before deciding to forward it on and then also added her own thoughts to it. Thank you for sharing them here as well.

    As to what this post has to do with motherhood, I really do apologize for not making the connection more clear in the post. Here was my thought process: I get a lot of e-mail throughout my days and weeks, some asking me to join the fight against women's cancer, some telling me that Bill Gates wants to give me money if I just forward the message on to my friends, some trying to sell me pills for male sexual disfunction, and lately, I have recieved a number of them about Big Love. Sorting through these e-mails and deciding what to do about each of them factors into my everyday life as a mother. This subject is also one that I would have definitely brought up to the Tales girls if we all still lived in NY - this is one of my main checks to decide if something belongs on the blog. There are many other ways that this post has to do with motherhood, but I am really not convinced that you want to know them all. I am probably just responding to a stupid jab.

    Your comment did make me realize that I might need to be more clear in my posts to make that mom connection so posts like these don't seem out of character for the Tales site. Thanks!
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 3/30/2006 10:11:00 AM  

  • anon...this blog is about motherhood, have you read any other posts about poop and pregnancy? One of carrie's goals in starting the blog was to have our posts tie into motherhood, but mothers talk about HBO....so she need not even use the word mother in her post, b/c plenty of women experiencing motherhood want to discuss this. And as far as big love...aren't there multiple wives...also all potential mothers? which makes me think...wouldn't it be funny if a polygamist dude was sterile? : )
    posted by Blogger Kage at 3/30/2006 10:20:00 AM  

  • Ok, perhaps "blasted" was a strong word. But, you get what I meant (the minority voice seemed quite uncomfortable with responses to her view). I agree, it's tough for the minority to voice their opinions.

    As for the mothering issue, it wasn't meant to be a jab. I really didn't think the post had to do with mothering and wondered why it was on this blog. I understand yours and kage's links to motherhood--but they are a stretch. Basically if the blog is to talk about anything that moms talk about--that's pretty much anything. Carrie said "Sorting through these e-mails and deciding what to do about each of them factors into my everyday life as a mother." Well, I think "mother" may as well be replaced with "person." Everyone sorts through these emails. I really don't mean to be rude--I just see it differently (and I don't think I could be the only one out there). And I also understand this issue isn't a big deal at all--I don't want to blow it out of proportion (if I haven't already).

    Anyway, I'm sorry because I totally changed the topic of the HBO thing--and that's annoying.

    By the way, I frequently read your blog a lot and I think it's a lot of fun and good stuff.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 3/30/2006 01:23:00 PM  

  • Why can’t mothers talk about issues outside of the home? As mothers I feel we have a responsibility to filter worldly issues. I hope that my children can look towards my example for guidance. I would not jump on the bandwagon because I do not think that “Big Love” is a big issue. However, there have been issues that I have stood up for and I have taken my children in strollers to meet with Senators and volunteered my time for causes that I feel matter. I want my children to see my active role in all things (faith, politics, and family), rather than see my passive resistance via a chain email.
    posted by Blogger Tri Mama at 3/30/2006 02:28:00 PM  

  • Just to continue the tangent to one more comment... Anon, I see your point. But I see the blog as our opinions and lives as Mormon mothers and women. And so yes, I would agree that this post had less to do with motherhood as defined as caring for your child. But to me it has a place on the blog as it very clearly has to do with Carrie's life as a Mormon woman. For many of us, our live are 90% poop and tantrums, so 90% of our posts are going to fall that way. But I enjoy celebrating the other 10% as well, and I personally welcome it on the blog.
    posted by Blogger marian at 3/30/2006 02:43:00 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
    posted by Blogger tamrobot at 3/30/2006 04:05:00 PM  

  • I am not a mother, yet I enjoy reading the posts here, many of which do not directly relate to mothering. If you read the description of the blog: "Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place"

    Also, for those of us who are mormon on here - we, of all people, should not be afraid to stand up when it seems like the majority have a different stance on things. If we're not used to being outnumbered, its possible we may not be standing up enough for what we believe! Don't worry about what other people think, voice your opinion. I thinks that's what Carrie was asking for - a healthy debate.

    My personal opinion is that I would not feel comfortable denouncing a show based on content unless I had seen it and could form my own opinion about it. I could see it possible to form an opinion on it based on its MPAA rating, but like Carrie said, that would apply to a whole lot of shows and would seem pretty unfair to focus on denouncing one show rather than all shows with that MPAA rating.
    posted by Blogger tamrobot at 3/30/2006 04:07:00 PM  

  • No--I wouldn't jump on any bandwagon unless I had personal experience with the show (no HBO) AND shared the views expressed in the letter (which I don't).

    Even then, I would re-write the letter.
    posted by Blogger a spectator at 3/31/2006 05:03:00 PM  

  • I received the email, and having not seen the show, I went to the HBO website and watched a few trailers or previews or whatever they're called. I got a very creepy vibe from the show, especially because of the "adult" content they were including. I did write HBO an email to voice my concerns.

    My main concern is expressed really well under point 3 from the Church's response to Big Love: "Despite its popularity with some, much of today’s television entertainment shows an unhealthy preoccupation with sex, coarse humor and foul language. Big Love, like so much other television programming, is essentially lazy and indulgent entertainment that does nothing for our society and will never nourish great minds."
    posted by Blogger Mrs. M at 4/01/2006 08:56:00 AM  

  • I am a grandma, old enough to be most of your mothers and consider myself to be a mainstream member of the church. I was invited to view your blog several weeks ago when another topic was being discussed and once again, I have to say that I disagree with the majority of the postings.

    My personal response to the email was driven by the impressions I got from two talks by President Hinckley, one from September of 2004 and one from January 2005. It was interesting to me that he specifically mentions that the day would come when we would be "caricatured". Read the articles and draw your own conclusions.

    For me, the counsel was clear. I wrote my own letter and I forwarded the email to friends and family members that I knew would respond with dignity and faith.

    If this site is a place to express your opinion cna't you do it without disparaging those who differ? Consider the principles you are hopefully teaching your children ... tolerance, love and respect for others.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 4/01/2006 09:02:00 AM  

  • Whoa. I thought grandma's were supposed to be nice!:)

    While some commentors may intentionally disparage those of differing views, you have to understand that it is very hard to have a differing view, that when read by a person of the opposing view, doesn't seem to disparage. Did that make sense?

    For instance, many may read Anon Grandma's comment and feel like she was calling those who did not agree with the Big Love E-mail unfaithful and undignified.

    What I am hoping to teach my children (among many other things obviously) is that having an opinion which may be considered outside of "mainstream mormonism" does not necessarily mean they lack faith or dignity.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 4/01/2006 11:10:00 AM  

  • anon gma~After reading your comment, I went back and read my comments and I don't see that I have belittled anyone with a differing opinion from mine. Is there a specific comment that made you feel that someone was disparaging the opposite opinion?

    I am glad that you commented because I was not aware that the FP had taken a stand, and I was happy to read a quote from their stance. I also liked learning about the conference talks.

    As for dignity and faith, I have faith that everything will turn out ok in this situation. I have faith that my daughters will not be directly exposed to this program, and that when someone talks to them about polygamy, I have faith that they will have the spirit with them and be able to respond with dignity. I don't think forwarding an email is going to add to or take away from that.

    As for the portion of Prez GBH's talk about being "caricatured", this is true for all things and all people. I don't know if BL is a satire or not, but everyone is always going to make fun of everyone else in the name of entertainment. I hope to teach my daughters to stand for something so that they don't fall for anything (as the quote says), and respect themselves and others, and always dig for the truth in all things, despite what they or others might see on tv for entertainment of otherwise (we all know "fact" shows have mistaken lds for polygamists etc.).

    Perhaps I should begin all my further commenting with a disclaimer: Have an opinion but open to change. One of the reasons I participate in this blog is to receive points of view/opinions/new perspectives. I am open-minded, humble and interested in others' wisdom, so please come back and continue to share.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 4/01/2006 11:50:00 AM  

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