17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Friday, April 20, 2007


As of Easter Sunday, I have now been menstruating for half of my life. For most of the past 14 years, people have told me that I pronounce it incorrectly: Menstrooation...but I just looked it up on dictionary.com, and the PEOPLE are the ones that are wrong: Menstraighting.

I digress.

Even though I have been Menstrooating for about 150 months, 150 times is not sufficient enough for me to know how I am, who I am or why I do the things I do during this sensitive time.

I remember growing up, my BFF's would get debilitating PMS cramps that would take them out of school for a sick day. I didn't understand that, because the only symptom I got (besides the very rare leg aches), was going a little cuckoo for a few days.

I think in high school the cuckooness was feeling down or cranky. Since married life, it has manifested itself in imaginary life crises, specifically centered around the following of gospel principles.

My DH knows that if he comes home to me in a heap on the floor, blubbering about our scripture study, temple attendance, or family home evenings, that I am probably PMSing. The truth is, that at any given time we probably do need to get better at those things, or improve the quality of our 10 minute FHE's, but in general, we are doing all right. It's just, when I am PMSing, my perception of our life is out of whack, and my ideal becomes rather farfetched: "We need to go to the temple EVERY Friday night!"

The latest PMS episode centered around a baby. I was concerned I was being haunted by a 3rd child. I stressed about the haunting feeling and talked in circles with my DH about it, quite distressed.

He did some quick thinking (and some math), and realized that many of my friends have either just had a baby or are having a baby, and that I have been watching Notes from the Underbelly (all about having babies), my own "baby" just turned 2, and it had been about 3 weeks since my last period. He convinced me that it was chemicals.

The next day I felt better and I quickly replaced my obsession with being haunted with the obsession that I am fat, and figured the only logical solution was to make homemade chocolate chip cookies. I was in such a delirium while baking that apparently I left quite a few eggshells in the batter. I of course, only realized this when several of my newly-baked cookies had these shells popping out of the top. I was grateful that shells are less dense then crap (sugar, butter, more sugar, white flour), so they floated right up to the top. Yeah Science!

Anyway, it's nice to know that my DH can see through Crazy Kage and distinguish between a real, true spiritual moment of introspection and a sincere need for change in our lives, and ugly ugly, fall-in-a-heap HORMONES. 200 Points for Jason Glass (sorry, just finished Harry Potter Book 2, so I am awarding points lately; Poopy got 10 taken away for pooping in her big girl panties this morning-stay tuned for my lame lame post on HP Book 2). I am digressing again...it's part of the PMS. Oh, gotta go have a few more cookies for breakfast. See ya.


  • I have trouble with PMS too, although not like I used to. It's been so bad that I've gone into what I call curl-up-and-die mode.

    But I've learned to recognize the chemical feel of the depression and to realize that it's just that---chemical. I don't take any of my feelings seriously. I know that they're not real and I just ride it out.

    I used to take birth control pills because they helped with it. It doesn't happen often enough anymore for me to bother though.
    posted by Anonymous Susan M at 4/20/2007 06:51:00 AM  

  • Oh, honey. I hear ya'.

    I wish I could ride it out like susan m; I tend to not realize what's happening until the period actually begins. You would think I could figure this out after years of periods, right? Right? ~sigh~

    But, I will give DH props for knowing about it as well as your husband does --and he's kind enough to deal with me patiently. I agree that BC pills helped with me as well, but I hate them. The IUD thing is awesome, but PMS is still Queen when I've got it.

    Ooh! Pregnancy does take away PMS, but then, you know, there's all that other hormonal stuff to deal with. And then it lasts nine months straight, not once every 4 weeks...

    Man, hormones really suck.
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 4/20/2007 09:11:00 AM  

  • I denied for years that PMS was real, but I am in denial no more. It is distinct and can really mess with you. My emotions get so intense.

    I also get pimples during that time and I'm 36 years old. Not cool.
    posted by Anonymous WendyP at 4/20/2007 10:03:00 AM  

  • I have never had real bad PMS (the occassional cramp, bloating, feeling sad/irritated) but after having my period for two months straight I went on desogen (the pill) for three months. It was GREAT! Besides feeling sick in the beginning and gaining a little bit of weight, my period only lasted for 4 days max each month and I experienced NO symtoms at all. Now that I'm off the pill, my period is regular again but it's back to seven day periods and even worse PMS than I remember having before I started the pill. I want to go back on the pill but I've heard horror stories of women who can't get pregnant because of the pill. Because of that, I wasn't planning on using the pill as a contraceptive when I got married. Now, I love the pill for personal medical reasons. Is it a good idea to go back on it? What do you ladies think?
    posted by Blogger Maria Tortilla at 4/20/2007 12:56:00 PM  

  • Just to clarify, when I said "women who can't get pregnant becauce of the pill." I meant that they can't get pregnant once they go off the pill. I don't know if it is a myth, but I've heard it can do some damage to your uterus or something like that.
    posted by Blogger Maria Tortilla at 4/20/2007 12:59:00 PM  

  • A two-month period sounds terrible!

    Regarding the pill, I've asked 3 or 4 OBGYNs who have said there is no evidence that the pill will hurt your chances of getting prego in the future.

    However, if you, like my sister, struggle with getting pregnant after the pill it's hard not to question everything you did before trying and blame it on that.

    We tend to blame ourselves, don't we?
    posted by Blogger Tally Girl at 4/20/2007 05:30:00 PM  

  • Kage, thanks for your honesty. Birth Control really took a toll on my emotions, but I am glad it worked for some of you. As for PMS I get it really bad and talked to my Dr. about it. He was so sympathetic and actually prescribed a low dose of an anti-depressant to take about a week before my period for seven days.

    It has made a world of difference and really helped me to control my PMS. I am grateful for his insight and don't think I will take it forever, but its hard to explain PMS toddlers.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 4/21/2007 10:13:00 AM  

  • I had the WORST PMS/Menstral symptoms. I was the one taking sick days and loaded up on Midol and Coke to help with the symptoms. And then once it actually started I would bleed through the super heavy tampons every 2 hours. It was horrible. I'd have PMS symptoms for 7 days, then a period for another 7, two weeks of normal-cy and then start all over.

    As a teenager I just dealt with it. Once I got married the pill helped, but I had morning sickness constantly from the pills harmones. So we tried different doses, and once we found one I wasn't sick on, I got pregnant because the dose was too low. (This happened twice, I got pregnant on the pill with #1 and #2)

    So after I had my second baby (7 months ago) I got an Mirena IUD (the one with harmones). IT'S AWESOME!!! 3 day periods, hardly any PMS, no morning sickness, just awesome. The only draw back was I spotted for 3 months after the insertion, but seriously worth it!
    posted by Blogger Trivial Mom at 4/22/2007 05:58:00 PM  

  • i grew up playing soccer almost everyday of my life up until two years ago, and rarely had my period at all, and when i did, i only had it for 3 days. But now that i have quit being so athletic, my symptoms are worse and i just notice that i am even less patient to the world (mainly my husband,poor guy)than what i am normally. BUT the reason i post is because i was just having a conversation with a lady at work about PMS and she said she'd read a book (can't rememeber now which one, or who the doctor was) but it said that 50 years ago you never heard everyone complaining about pms (granted it wasn't as commonly/appropriate to talk about) but PMS is now a problem because of the hormones injected into our diary products. The cows and chickens we so commonly consume are throwing off our hormones we already naturally have. I havn't really looked into this, but the lady at work now tries to consume less diary products and no meat, I'm not sure how its workin for her, but she still seems a bit cranky with me around that time. Either way, its an interesting idea.
    posted by Anonymous desiree n. at 4/22/2007 09:42:00 PM  

  • I'm definitely one of the PEOPLE who had it wrong. Sorry if I ever gave you a hard time about the pronunciation. I am not sure I can make the switch though. Sounds weird to me. I try not to make a habit of using "menstruating" in my everyday conversation, so I think I'll be alright until Princess hits puberty.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 4/23/2007 08:11:00 AM  

  • Kage - You inspired me to re-read Harry Potter. I also frequently give out and deduct points to people. I'm on book 4 right now. I'm hoping to finish before book 7 comes out too.
    posted by Blogger tamrobot at 4/26/2007 02:28:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home