A Valentine

The first time my DH took care of Noe (now 4) by himself, I returned to find my precious newborn wrapped in a bath towel, with his diaper and onesie on backwards. It took every ounce of willpower to stay quiet. I clenched my teeth, grinned tight, and asked how his night had gone. And decided that I could never leave him alone with our baby again.

When I related the experience to my mom, she pointed out that Noe had been clean, changed and warm when I arrived home....did anything else really matter?

Of course she was right. An only child, my DH had no experience with babies and young children before he became a father. But he was determined to be an involved father and have a strong relationship with each of our children from the very start.

Four years and another child later, I have learned that when it comes to our boys MY WAY isn't the ONLY way, or always even the BEST way. Maybe when I come home from my part-time job (he watches the kids on those evenings), the boys are asleep in their play clothes. But I know they've gone to bed on time. Maybe their toys are still spread across the play room. But I know that he's been playing with them rather than watching TV.

He has a gentleness and patience with the boys that I envy. He wrangles the two of them on shopping trips much better than I do. The boys obey him when they often ignore me. He almost singlehandedly potty trained Noe in a matter of weeks....and trust me...it is no small feat potty training a 3-year-old with autism!

With all of my rants about "giving up a career for motherhood...", most of the time, I think I am the lucky one. I get to set my own schedule. I get to choose when and in what capacity I return to the workforce. I get the morning cuddles and goodnight kisses, while DH is either working or recovering from long nights in the newsroom. His time is not his own. When he isn't at work, he is expected to be helping with the kids, and he does so gladly, without resentment.

I can't remember the last time he picked up his guitar or called an old friend to chat. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to give DH more of the ME time I demand for myself. Just like a lot of my resolutions, this one has fallen to the wayside a bit. But on this Valentine's Day, this cheesy Hallmark holiday, I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him. And what an amazing father he is to his two little boys!