17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Hey, good job...you're a mother! Whassup?

Have we ever had this conversation before? What do you want for Mother's Day?

When I attend Church on Sunday, I do not want a carnation.

My kids will take it, fight over, squish it, and it will die. Or I will sneeze. Or, after finding a way to carry it delicately around amongst my 14 bags, coats, umbrella(?), and kids, it will just have some sort of mishap and die. MAYBE if a corsage was pinned to my blouse I could go for some fresh flowers, but then my allergies become an ish.

I really don't expect church to acknowledge me as Mother, but it is nice to have a talk or a song or something...but I also realize that the non-mothers might not enjoy that so much, so I am fine with foregoing that and celebrating in private (and preferrably ALL ALONE).

I would like to go home this Sunday and take a nap, but I pretty much do that on Sundays anyway. Maybe, I could have a nap with little consequence...like, I don't HAVE to get up to feed the hungry people or better yet, maybe someone else makes food for me? Maybe my husband wouldn't have to leave at 5:45 for meetings and stay after church for a few hours? He already strongly encouraged the High Priest Group to reschedule the social they had planned for this upcoming Sunday. I got the email from my honey: Do you care if we go to a High Priest Group Social on Mother's day?

My response:

Uh......YUP, I pretty much mind.

He also asked me a few weeks later: Can the Mother's Day Fairy email me what you want for Mother's Day?

And so she did, 3 links to 3 books that are on my list. And Lil Sis told me which book it was the other day....oh well, nothings a surprise.

As for my own mom, (mom, stop reading now!),

Stop mom. You will have to come back later.

Really, click on yahoo or something.

As for my own mom, I sent her a card with a quick note and the message that I donated money to a good cause for a race happening in her town on that day (which I did, I didn't just make that up). I would like to think that I show appreciation to my own mom when I feel so inclined, not just because it's an assigned time to show appreciation, so I don't feel that much pressure to do something outrageous for her for Mother's Day.

I spoke to a mom yesterday who has been hinting at Lilacs and Hydrangeas to her girls for the past several days....I wonder if she'll get her wish.....

What's your wish?


  • I am not crazy about Mothers Day at church either, even though I have no fertility issues, and have a long line of wonderful mothers, grandmothers, inlaws, etc. But they always insist on the flower pass-out, the belabored presentations on mothers and women, and the slightly condescending gestures of appreciation. I wish they would just make it a regular Sunday. One caveat: I love the primary kids singing. What I want: to sleep in, my husband to cook and clean up after, no kids fighting, and a few solitary minutes to read a good book. I'll probably get that (except maybe the sleeping in and the fighting), so that's good enough.
    posted by Anonymous Sara A at 5/09/2008 11:20:00 AM  

  • Sorry, not related comment, but for whatever reason the freebies post cuts off after the first paragraph and the picture, I can't see any other posts, I can't comment to try and win the freebie, heck, I don't even know what the freebie is... is there a problem with your blog?

    I can't even get to the archives, or see anything that is usually on the sides like links and such?
    posted by Anonymous JS at 5/09/2008 11:26:00 AM  

  • Last year our ward gave chocolates to all the ladies. That was very much appreciated! What I want: a meal cooked for me.
    posted by Blogger Liz at 5/09/2008 11:37:00 AM  

  • hey JS, thanks for letting us know - It should be fixed now, please comment again and let me know if it isn't. I've extended the deadline on the giveaway as well.

    Sorry for the threadjack...
    posted by Blogger marian at 5/09/2008 11:46:00 AM  

  • Too bad Mother's day is always on a sunday...I would have DH take me out to dinner since he doesn't cook. Chocolate is good, good to give all year round too! If money weren't an issue, I could think of LOTS of things I would like (and not just for Mother's day!) ...day at the spa, weekend away, shopping day, really nice restuarant. Ah well, I am glad to spend any day with my family since this is my first mother's day!.
    posted by Anonymous JS at 5/09/2008 12:08:00 PM  

  • Just for future reference...here is what our ward is doing for Mothers Day (I think it is a great idea.)

    All the men are taking over the classes so that all the women can attend Relief Society. Then in the last 15 min. Relief Society will be treated to chocolate dipped strawberries and other nice treats (in the gym I assume.) Our ward chose to spend the money on fruit and chocolate vs. a carnation.

    Just a good idea for next year maybe, the carnation does get old.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 5/09/2008 12:12:00 PM  

  • Best Gift from the Hubby EVER-
    (maybe not for everyone but TOTALLY for me and obviously not for Sunday-)

    He dropped me off at some AMAZING outlets with a nice chunk of change, and left me kid free for the day to wander the shops peacefully! I seriously cried with that one.

    But at church I totally like the last idea about letting all the women go to RS and then get chocolate covered strawberries!! YUM! Carnations are like a weed. Not a flower. Don't even go there.
    posted by Blogger Rachel H at 5/09/2008 01:08:00 PM  

  • My home ward does the strawberries, men taking over classes thing. I always loved it because they did the refreshments outside (grew up in CA) and so the Primary kids/YW would sneak out early and go join. Probably the RS didn't love that, or maybe they didn't mind.

    My husband did the outlet mall gift for me last year for my birthday, and I think I also cried! Such a great gift.

    For Mother's Day, I want to spend it with my family but not have to do the humdrum stuff that I do every day--cooking, cleaning up, messy diapers. So, hopefully that will work out for me. :) I already told my husband not to buy me a gift, because that's all I want--a normal Sunday with some family time, a nap, and a little extra relaxation for me. I hope he doesn't have meetings--I don't think he does. With all the meetings already, I think it's lame (and actually might be against policy?) to schedule any kind of ward activity, aside from the occasional fireside, on any Sunday, let alone Mothers Day.
    posted by Blogger Eliza at 5/09/2008 01:18:00 PM  

  • Ugh. I have to speak on Sunday. I hate speaking on holidays, epecially one that is supposed to be for ME...that assignment combined with my regular teaching calling means that I will probably not get what I want: a nice, peaceful day. Hopefully I won't have to cook dinner or change diapers, though...
    posted by Blogger JessK at 5/09/2008 03:07:00 PM  

  • the outlet mall gift would NOT be perfection for me, but I get why it is for others.

    Maybe a nice chunk of change at Anthropolgie or Barnes and Noble.

    We did chocolate a couple of years ago and I think people liked it, but jen, didn't you put up a post a few months back about lots of treats at church? Or did I read that at MMW or FMH? Anyway.....

    ps...threadjacking myself....at our mix n mingle (2nd and 4th sundays...light snacks in the gym after church), 2 weeks ago, one ward member bought apple pies and cheeseburgers from mcdonalds for EVERYONE....

    only in astoria.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 5/09/2008 03:45:00 PM  

  • I don't mind Mother's Day at church. I do mind that I get a silly flower, while my husband on Father's Day gets treated to Root Beer Floats while everyone else (women and children) had to stay in the hall. THAT irked me.

    As far as presents go, I learned long ago that if I wanted a day to go a certain way, I had to make it so myself. My DH hardly has time to make it home for dinner, let alone take the kids shopping. So, I gather up a few things I want, set them on my bed with wrapping supplies and viola, Mommy's Store is open for business. He supervises the choosing and then helps the wrapping. It's a win-win for everyone.
    posted by Blogger jlk at 5/09/2008 06:04:00 PM  

  • Seriously those carnations are somewhat ridiculous. I'd be happy with some chocolate but would be happy not to get anything if it would offend the sisters who are diabetic. Typically they give them to all the women.

    The leadership in our ward has cancelled all meetings and I think that is awesome. My hubby is gone every Sunday morning at those. Having some help getting ready for church will be awesome and my hubby is making salad and grilling steaks for dinner. Sweeet!

    Having my baby on Mother's Day would rock...but maybe afterthe yummy dinner. (I'm 39 weeks prego).
    posted by Blogger Linz at 5/09/2008 07:18:00 PM  

  • At my hometown church, the men always made breakfast for the women on Mother's Day. And they did a great job, AND cleaned up after themselves.
    posted by Blogger Kathi D at 5/09/2008 09:14:00 PM  

  • I just heard this idea where the women in the ward voted to either get their token flower or for the ward to donate the money to the church's humanatarian fund, I thought that was an awesome idea, I'd way prefer the money to go there instead of some silly gift that will expire within a few hours.
    posted by Blogger English Garden at 5/09/2008 10:46:00 PM  

  • I pretty much love all holidays, whether they pertain to me or not: Mother's Day, Father's Day, Hanukkah, you name it.

    What I want is so easy and simple: no meetings for myself or my husband. I love our church to pieces but we seriously 'meeting' our people to death.

    Enough is enough!
    posted by Blogger the Rew Crew at 5/10/2008 07:41:00 AM  

  • Hubby and I used to go all crazy on Mother's Day and Father's Day in the gift dept., but we've toned it down the last few years (for example, one year I received a painting, movies, pillows, 3 dozen roses, shoes, and books).

    I'm happy with some cards from the kids and a day off from cleaning/cooking/disciplining kids. I'm not sure if this is because I'm more frugal or just getting old. I think it's the getting old part of me. :)

    For church? I guess I just don't care. Flower or not, I'm glad they take the time to say thank you.
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 5/10/2008 09:21:00 AM  

  • For my Mother's Day present this year, I am going to go see a lactation consultant.

    Our ward is having a brunch for all the Relief Society sisters on Sunday, after a short lesson (RS is last). I think it sounds pretty awesome, we'll have to see how it turns out.
    posted by Blogger kadusey at 5/10/2008 12:15:00 PM  

  • Kage, no...I didn't do the no treats at church post. I think it was a guest post. I'm definitely not against treats at church or anywhere for that matter!!!

    I bought myself my gift this year...usually I let DH figure it out but I found something I wanted. DH seemed relieved.
    posted by Blogger Jen at 5/10/2008 12:39:00 PM  

  • Wish I could say I was the "all I want is love and harmony in my home" type of gal....but I'm not. I want this wicked cool sweater at Anthro, but Hubby already told me he's not spending $100 dollars on me for Mother's Day. Oh well.
    posted by Blogger miggy at 5/10/2008 01:01:00 PM  

  • I'm the opposite of Linz and do not want to have my baby on Mother's Day. I guess it just seems like too much work on a day that I would rather spend sleeping in and having a yummy breakfast or dinner (or both)! DH got me a massage this Mother's Day. I say on Mother's / Father's Days you should do something you don't usually do.... indulge or splurge a little.

    And I don't expect anything at church. It's nice that they do a program and all, but if it weren't there I don't think I would miss it.
    posted by Blogger beth at 5/10/2008 01:47:00 PM  

  • I don't want a carnation either. I want to eat yummy food, have a break from the kids or have them be angels the entire day. But I don't think either is going to happen because I have a nursing baby and real children.

    Other than that, a nice relaxing Sunday will be fine.

    jen, I also picked out my gift and I think my dh was relieved as well.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 5/10/2008 11:00:00 PM  

  • I just found this blog and have to say, I am a Mormon young married (I'm 24 and will have been married for 1 year on the 16th) woman waiting for children, and I love your blog. I'm hooked.
    That being said I went to my SIL's ward on mother's day for her baby blessing, which I thought was cute to do on mother's day, and they gave all the women cd's of church hymns, I really liked it. My mother on the other hard was given a potted flower, she said "great, another thing I have to take care of!" I thought that was too true, how many mothers want to be given somethign they have to work at on their special day.
    posted by Anonymous Ashlee at 5/12/2008 05:12:00 AM  

  • And I got a CD and would have preferred a flower. I guess you really can't please all the people all the time.
    posted by Blogger Alison Wonderland at 5/14/2008 04:01:00 AM  

  • I was expecting (and somewhat dreading) the flower for Mother's Day at church and then I found out that they were passing out chocolate bars...I was thrilled!
    posted by Blogger Marci at 5/17/2008 11:02:00 PM  

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