Good Mom, Bad Mom

It all started with Oprah...

She HAD to do a story on puppy mills. It got my DH and me curious. We started browsing petfinder for fun. We saw that there were a LOT of dogs out there that needed a home. It sparked a conversation about dogs and brought us back to the dating years of yore. A decade ago we used to dream about getting a weimaraner and calling her Uli (OOH-lee) (an Austrian name DH loved from his mission days). All that talk came flooding back and our hypothetical search for a dog became more and more un-hypothetical.

One afternoon I found a weim who needed rescuing, named Mattie. Her profile has changed since I first saw it, but a few weeks ago there were pix of her emaciated and super skinny and her story was a sad one. We both fell in love with her face. We went through the application process and even spoke with the foster mom a few times. We never heard back so we figured Mattie would not go to us.

As the weeks passed, my DH suddenly became excited about getting a weim pup. I did the research and found a great breeder reasonably nearby. I had long conversations with the breeder, bought the puppy books at the store, tivoed all the Dog Whisperer episodes on NGC, and decided this would work out for our family. We decided to make the plunge to get a puppy.

We drove out on Saturday and met the big Weims that were well-behaved and so soft to the touch and beautiful dogs. The four girls in the litter were frisky, but one came right over to me and then right over to DH and was much more mellow. We decided she would make a great pet and we took her home. She was so good on the ride home and it seemed like it was going to work out really well.

The next morning as we were playing with our new pup, we got the call that our application to rescue Mattie was approved. And I felt bad. After all, Oprah and the puppy mills are what started this all, and Mattie was who I wanted to rescue. Shoot.

After I got over having to say NO to Mattie, reality with pup set in. I started to get a few itchy patches on my skin. I knew I was slightly allergic to dogs, but I am also allergic to everything else and on a lot of medicines to fight it, so I thought, one more thing wouldn't make a dent. The itchy patches were manageable but concerning. I was really diligent about insisting on sitting to earn affection, food, elevator-riding rights (to get outside), and before we crossed the street. We did the crate at night and DH was really great about getting up to take her out and help to settle her back down. The kids loved her.

But she peed a lot....and all the time and she whined and barked and was rough with the kids to where my little one cried often (and she is the MOST dog lover of all of us). I was trying to be so present and so patient, but it just escalated and escalated and I realized that there was no way I could care for this pup the way she needed to be cared for. And so my DH drove her back home last night (2.5 hours each way), and I dried the tears of my older daughter and asked for her forgiveness. I then cleaned the entire house like a madwoman and slept so soundly. There was a little guilt about putting my kids through this, but neither of them has mentioned her this morning, and I am so happy that I am no longer a dog owner.

But she was cute.