Why I Am INSANE: Part 3, me

I can't pick on the boys and not pick on myself!

This is not only the conclusion of my three-part insanity series, it is also a companion to Zinone's post from earlier this week, encouraging us to try something new. So here goes. The number one reason I am insane?

On Monday morning, I registered to run a half marathon this coming June.

For those of you who know me, I apologize for knocking you out of your chairs, I should have warned you. For those of you who don't know me, let me just say that this is VERY VERY UNLIKE ME. I like to sit, eat, watch tv, and sleep. I do not like to sweat, go to the gym, or be in pain. I did, however, begin running in August (for the first time in over 10 years I might add) and managed to keep it up for two months, before travel got in the way. Since returning from India, I've had a great deal of trouble getting back on the exercise bandwagon, not only because I'm a procrastinator, but also because it is now snowy, cold, and dark here, which means no more running outside. So when the opportunity came my way to do this half marathon, I decided it was just the threat I needed to keep me going to the gym through the long, cold winter months. Cue humiliating story...

I greatly dislike situations where I don't know the routine or the "rules" - I'm not good in new settings. That's part of why I don't like the gym, because I don't ever go, and therefore I don't know how it all works. But this past Friday, tackling my fear of the unknown was priority #1 as I set off to try out a new gym near my house. I like to stay under the radar in these situations - blend in as much as possible, don't let anyone know I have no idea what's going on. Not necessarily the best plan when you need to learn something, but it's my default mode, so it's tough to get out of. So I got to the gym, took a brief tour, and then changed into my workout gear and headed for the treadmill.

Now, treadmills are not THAT complicated. Sure, there's all kinds of programs you can set, inclines, speeds, etc., but after some fiddling around and brief moments of flailing like an idiot, I managed to get the thing going at my pace, tucked my water bottle and red ipod nano into their appointed shelves on the "dashboard", and started my run. I planned to run for 20 minutes, and I was doing quite well until about minute 17. That's when my hand caught on the cord of my headphones, sending my ipod flying. It detached from the headphones, knocked into me, and ricocheted straight forward. I laughed a nervous little "ha ha" laugh, shared an "oh, geez!" glance with the teenage girls running beside me, and decided to finish my last three minutes sans music and grab my ipod off the floor when I was done. After my cool down, I hopped off the treadmill and went around to the front to pick up my ipod. Not there. I went around behind it. Not there. I look under it. Not there. I look under the machine beside it. Not there. At this point, the two girls next to me finish their workouts and start looking with me. No luck. We're looking in all kinds of places, places that physics would not allow the ipod to go, but still, not there.

And then, as I kneel on the floor looking under the machine for the umpteenth time (remember, this is a BRIGHT RED ipod, it's not exactly inconspicuous) I notice it. The space between the treadmill conveyor belt and the plastic casing is very small, but not so small that a niiiiiice thin nano wouldn't fit through it. CRAP. I make my way to the front desk, where I get the attendant's attention. This is the same girl who gave me a tour not 30 minutes before, who is allowing me to workout for free that day so that I can check things out. And I tell this nice girl that I need her help disassembling the treadmill, because my ipod is inside it.

20 minutes later, screws and plastic, flashlights and pliers strewn across the floor, we find my ipod, which had indeed shot straight into the workings of the treadmill - a feat that was quite impressive considering the space it had to fit through. Miraculously, both treadmill and ipod were fine. I, however, was absolutely mortified. There's no possible way I could have been any higher ABOVE the radar. "Oh sure, I'm cool, I'll just check the place out, nice quiet workout - oh yes, and could you help me take apart the machines while I'm here? Thanks!" Needless to say, after I helped put the machine back together, I got a gym membership. How could I not at that point?

Please, please tell me you've all done something equally as ridiculous at the gym? Or anywhere? I'll take anything at this point! Oh, and if you want to keep up with all the pain and suffering my training will be bringing, I've started a blog to document it all. I promise I'll do more humiliating and painful things just to keep the blog interesting!