17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Friday, April 06, 2007

My Lesson of the Week

This week's lesson was: How To Remove Stitches From the Chin of a Squirmy Three Year Old.

Step 1: Warn parents that child is going to scream bloody murder through entire proceedure, but that he's just mad, not in any pain.

Step 2: Wrap child from neck to ankles in a blanket. Secure blanket by wrapping an ace bandage around body a couple of times.

Step 3: Lie mummified child on hospital bed on his back. Place a large pillow on his torso.

Step 4: Run tape from one side of bed, over pillow, and secure on other side of bed. Use 3 or 4 strips to make sure child is secured.

Step 5: Stand back and appreciate your work for a moment. Then have nurse hold child's head back for full chin access. Remove stitches while child screams "LET GO MY CHEEKS" repeatedly.

Step 6: When final stitch is removed, tell child he's all done. Watch him smile and laugh as you cut him free. Accept his high five, say "You're Welcome" when he thanks you, and then go take some Advil to dull the headache you are now experiencing.

So, what did you guys learn this week?


  • Let your child experiment with food, even if it sounds absolutely repulsive to you. If it's not going to make them sick, it's ok (even if that means the thought of it might make you sick). At lunch today my almost 2 year old daughter ate her apple slices dipped in mustard!
    posted by Blogger Erin at 4/06/2007 11:38:00 AM  

  • Erin, the other day my 2 year old ate ketchup like yogurt. And Marian, I can ACTUALLY remember that same situation when I was around 3. I remember being bound and bright lights....but I was not traumatized by it, simply remember it. How did he get the stitches? Mine were leaning back in my chair, and then snapping forward and either hitting my chin on the edge of the table or on my own collar bone....and of course my mom had tole me not to lean back in my chair like that.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 4/06/2007 12:16:00 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 4/06/2007 12:16:00 PM  

  • Teach children to run to the bathroom when they feel sick. Remember to tell them this BEFORE they come running to you in the living room to tell you they are going to throw-up and then proceed to do so all over the carpet.

    Keep the door to the bathroom where the kitty-litter box is located shut while toddler nephew is in the house.

    Parking 1/2 mile down the road at Pier 23 instead of parking closer to Pier 39 will save you at least $7.00 and is worth the walk...
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 4/06/2007 02:05:00 PM  

  • Don't dye (or attempt to dye) easter eggs with a 1 year old... it's not worth it! Not even worth it for the photo op.

    Glad you survived the stitches :)
    posted by Anonymous beth at 4/06/2007 05:00:00 PM  

  • Glad to hear that Beth...we skipped that this year with our 1 yr old and I thought I was a bad mom.

    Great lessons Marian - what an exciting week!
    I learned how to post pics to websites on my new mac;)
    posted by Blogger Melissa at 4/07/2007 07:00:00 AM  

  • Yay Melissa! :-)

    Erin, I love the food experimentation results, mustard apples, mmm mmm good! My other lesson of the week was to go for it when my son said he wanted red chicken and blue chicken for dinner (we had just dyed easter eggs...) so I used food coloring to dye the breadcrumbs. He gobbled it right up - my husband looked at it funny though!

    Cheryl, not a fun lesson to learn. I'll have to remember those instructions the next time the flu hits us here.

    And Beth, this is the first time we've done eggs (Max is almost 4). Last year he did it in Nursery at church (I could not BELIEVE that they atttempted it - on easter Sunday at that, with all the kids in their fancy clothes!) and did pretty well. This year it went smoothly as well, but I don't think I would have tried it before now out of fear for my home!
    posted by Blogger marian at 4/07/2007 07:59:00 AM  

  • My lesson of the week:

    It might be time to hire a professional to do your taxes when your "do-it-yourself" computer tax program says you owe NY State $228,992. Something has obviously gone very wrong.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 4/09/2007 09:06:00 AM  

  • Ohhhhh Carrie, you definitely got me laughing out loud on that one
    posted by Blogger marian at 4/09/2007 10:55:00 AM  

  • LOL Carrie, and I don't even like writing LOL
    posted by Blogger Kage at 4/10/2007 05:13:00 AM  

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