From the Tales Inbox: Prostituting Friendship in the Name of Home-Sales

From Tales reader "LouLou M."

Another post-card sized invitation arrives in the mail. Details of the exciting “party” are disclosed along with a promise of a free gift if you bring a friend. The set-up is usually the same: three to five other suckers, like myself, sitting in the living room of the hostess wishing they were anywhere else. The hostess makes her sales pitch for _____ (insert “candles,” “cookware,” “stamps,” etc.), claiming she makes enough money to pay her mortgage pedaling these products and peppering her spiel with the word “family”—as in family-friendly job, family products, family-oriented business.

A very limited line of products is displayed and in some cases sampled. These include items such as $15 spatulas—similar ones found at Target for $2; a spice blend that promises to make this scrumptious spinach dip that is passed around and sampled. The bottle is $10 but only makes two bowls of dip and doesn’t include the mayonnaise and sour cream you must add.

The unique aspect of these Home Party Sales is the psychology of women, on which they depend. The reason for the success of these parties is that women can’t say no to their friends. They are afraid the party hosting friend will take it personally and it will affect their friendship. Executives are exploiting the notion that women cannot separate business from friendship and will continue to overpay for items based solely on a duty to support their friends, fit into the social norm and make everyone happy.

Women, eager to make some “fun money” prostitute their friendships and family relationships all to make a small sale or book another party. Unfortunately, these parties create a vicious cycle. Consultants from different companies rely on other consultants to swap parties. I’ll put on a Children’s Toy show for you if you have a Spa Party for me. The consultants, themselves, probably spend a lot of their own earnings supporting other companies in a quid pro quo manner. This explains the mass mailings of the invitations I receive since everyone is trying to support everyone else as the circle of friends gets more expansive.

The majority of women I have met who pedal these items are doing it for “fun money” not because they can’t feed their children. They are essentially hitting us up to spend our “fun money” on overpriced items so we can fill their pockets with “fun money.” The “family friendly” speech on why they are doing this job doesn’t hold up when the reasons for sales and sources of sales are examined. Instead you see selfishness.

I’m sorry ladies, but the extra $200 you are making a month is not worth it in loss of respect among your friends. Do not invite me to another home party. Do not ask me to host one. If I really “need” any of these products, I will load up my kids and go to the nearest Wal-Mart, Target or if I’m feeling extravagant, a department store and I will find them for less. Do not advertise the parties as a chance to “get away from the kids” and “stock up on things you need”. If I want to get away I will go to the spa or go shopping to a place where the base price isn’t figuring in a 30% commission. We can stop the annoying perpetual At-Home-Sales parties by saying “NO!” No, I would not like to order. No, I would not like to host. I will not bring a friend to the party, even though the three page paper-backed recipe book “free prize” is appealing. These companies will go out of business if regular women like you and me quit attending and worse, buying the low-quality, highly commissioned products. If stay-at-home Moms really want to make extra money and get some time away from the kids, spend the same amount of time from the parties at a real job. Don’t have the degree? Invest in night-school classes and get some “time away from the kids” furthering your education and preparing yourself for a career that won’t make your friends squirm whenever they see you coming towards them with the newest catalog featuring a $20 ice cream scoop.

-About the Guest Contributor: "LouLou M." has chosen to remain anonymous for fear of offending her array of Pampered Chef, Stampin’ Up and Layerz consultant friends. She lives in the midwest, is an active mother of five, and holds an MBA and CPA.