"Ma'm, that's a misdemeanor..."

I have never been pulled over, issued a citation or arrested for anything. For those of you who know me well, this will come as a surprise.

My beautifully lucky streak (truly lucky, trust me) came to an end today. With my kids in the car. Lovely.

I was at an intersection, came up to the light and made a right turn on red as there were no cars coming in the other direction. This is California - you're allowed to do that. I promptly heard sirens and saw the flashing lights of a police motorcycle right behind me. "Hmmm, who is he following?" I thought. "Hmmmmmm...I think he's following...ME. I wonder why? Hmmmm....maybe I should - yes, I should definately pull over".

He pulled in behind me and I started giggling nervously, going through my purse to find my license. "Oh my goodness, I'm being pulled over" I laughed over and over. My kids were silent - they probably thought I had lost my mind.

I rolled down my window and asked the officer with a big beaming smile, "What's wrong, officer?" I actually said officer.

"M'am, do you know what you did wrong?"

Uh oh...I don't think this is a trick question. I just smiled with big question marks in my eyes.

"M'am...you made a right turn on a RED ARROW".

You have GOT to be kidding me. I am truly the biggest moron EVER.

"Uhhhhh...OH!" I started laughing...loudly. "Well that was totally wrong!"

I'm pretty sure it's not a good idea to freely admit guilt in front of a police officer but I had clearly screwed up so what else was there to say? He smiled and asked for license, registration and proof of insurance. I handed all three over...and then my stomach fell.

I don't have a CA drivers license. I have lived here for 2 full years and have REFUSED to get one - I'm still a proud NY card carrier. Maybe he won't notice, I thought...

"M'am...why don't you have a California drivers license?"

"Ummmm....I just moved here?"

"When?"

Pause. I immediately decided to lie.

"Three months ago. Yes."

"Really? I"m going to have to run this."

Oh my gosh, I am going to be hauled off to jail for lying to the police. But somehow it seemed so much better to admit to 3 months of ineptitude instead of 2 years. I know what you're all thinking but in the moment it really seemed better than admitting the FULL truth.

As the officer walked away from my car this is the exchange I had with my 3 1/2 year old son:

DS: "Mom, what did the motorcycle man want?

Me: "Well, mommy made a mistake and so the policeman is going to decide what to do with mommy".

DS: "Why did you make a mistake, mom?"

Me: "Well, sometimes - OK, no more talking. We'll talk about this later"

DS: "Mom, what was the mistake?"

Me: "Mommy went go on a red light instead of a green light."

DS: "Why did you do that? You go on green mom".

Good grief. This is just what I need.

The officer returned, handed my cards/papers over and said, "M'am, you are currently driving with an invalid license. By law, I should tow your car. This is a misdemeanor offense."

And here were my thoughts: "@!&$#&*!"

"However...you have little babies in the car and it would be tough to tow your car with them. SO you are going to the DMV and getting a license this week, got it?"

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. THANK YOU OFFICER"

I still got a citation for the worlds stupidest traffic violation (who makes right turn on a RED arrow, I ask) but was spared the humiliation of a tow truck.

I have a babysitter coming on Friday so that I can go to the DMV and officially become a card carrying member of the California driving community.