Do your eyes light up?

I remember a moment when I was sitting on the stand in our Chapel waiting to conduct the music. For some reason many of the little people of the ward were detained with their Dads and their moms were already seated on the pews waiting for them. One by one in came these little toddlers to sit by their moms. And one by one, as the toddlers turned the corner into the pew, the moms reacted as if it had been weeks, months, years since they had seen their child. Their faces completely transformed as their eyes met their child’s eyes. In truth, it was Katie, Carrie and Marian. I was so impressed by the love in their eyes and the obvious strong bond between mother and child.

I was reminded of this moment when I watched a snippet of Oprah the other day. There was a story about a “biker guy” who had watched Toni Morrison on Oprah. She said that our children see their esteem through our eyes and our emotions. She posed the question: Do your eyes light up when you see your child? This inspired “biker guy” to make every moment (all 15 minutes a day that he got with his kids) count. He changed his behaviors so that instead of seeing his kids and scolding right away about not cleaning their room etc., he greeted them with his eyes lit up.

It made me question myself: Do my eyes light up? I think most of the time they do. And I also had a moment of clarity about a mother that I see every week at my daughter’s ballet class. She always seems very, to put it generically, down, about her kids or being pregnant. I can relate to not feeling well while pregnant, but even after their birth, she was still down. I thought maybe this was just her personality until I started talking to her about her work: Her eyes lit up. Her daughter is pretty anti-social and “down.” I can’t help but think there is a connection there. She sees a woman who only looks down on her, so how is she to feel good about her little 4-year-old self?

I am intrigued by Dove’s new Campaign for Real Beauty that was kicked off in a Superbowl commercial featuring beautiful little girls. As someone who has had high self esteem most of my life (thank you Mom for lighting up when you see me), I didn’t realize how prevalent this problem is and how if women had more self esteem, we would conquer so many demons. This is (to quote Oprah) an AHA! Moment for me. I want to cure breast cancer and now self esteem too. I will start with my two girls. Ready eyes….Let’s LIGHT!