Sounds like you're doing all the right things

I finally gave up last week and took Max to the pediatrician to get some advice on his sleeping problem. Her answer? Sounds like you're doing all the right things. And I think that's all I needed to hear.

Up until about 3 months ago, my little man (he'll be 3 in June) was a champion sleeper, especially at night. Put him down at 7, he'd hang out in his crib/bed, reading and singing and entertaining himself for about an hour, until he fell asleep. No screaming, no night waking-ups, just sleep until about 7 the next morning. He continued this even after we transferred him to a bed this past summer, which I was surprised and overjoyed at. I prided myself on his nighttime sleep, on the fact that we had "trained" him at 7 mos. (those nights of horrid pain as you just let them cry it out...) and clearly, what I had done had worked. Sure, he was crazy and so strange in so many ways, but at least I had the nighttime sleep thing under control.

Turns out, it had VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH ME. Sure, the choices I made influenced the outcome, but at a certain point, it became all up to Max. And just after Thanksgiving, he decided he was no longer going to go to sleep.

I won't waste your time detailing out each individual phase he has taken me through in this adventure of not sleeping, nor will I list all the techniques I've used in battling it. In the end, none of them have worked anyway, so I just keep going back to the same things we've been doing since the beginning - the things that all the books tell you to do. I kept waiting to find a "fix your child's sleep" book that would have the answer, but they all told me to do the things I was already doing, the things that weren't making a difference. And finally, after breaking down and crying about it yet another evening, my DH suggested I make an appointment with the pediatrician, call in the experts so to speak.

So first I FOUND a pediatrician (yeah, I'm an awful mom who hadn't done that even after 7 months in her new town...) then I made an appointment, which was of course about 6 weeks out. And I figured that by the time the appointment arrived, we'd have moved on to the next problem - isn't that the way it always works? But not in this case. Anyway, last week I went, I met my (awesome) pediatrician, and detailed out for her all the ups and downs and techniques and traumas. And she listened, she asked some questions, and in the end said it sounded like I was doing what I was supposed to do. Gave me her phone number and email address to get in touch with her if it was more than I could take, and sent me on my way. If you told me ahead of time that this was what was going to happen, I probably would have been upset. But actually, it was very reassuring. I think all I needed to hear (if "oh here's the magic pill / trick that will make it all better" wasn't available...) was that I wasn't missing something truly obvious, that I wasn't doing anything to make the behavior worse, and that I just needed to push ahead. And thank goodness, that's what I got. I think we all need a pat on the back sometimes, that reassurance that we're doing all we can do.