And they lived happily ever after....NOT!

Isn't it romantic? Sleeping beauty, Snow white, and Ariel all had their spells and lives changed after ONE kiss from their handsome prince. All their problems were solved, their deepest desires were satisfied, the orchestra crescendo, everyone cheers, and the ending scene is the second kiss... Then the credits start rolling.

But wait!! Where is my prince!!! I've never had a boyfriend come save me from my problems. Has your husband? From what I have experienced, read and seen about romance life, things are much more complicated and challenging. There are fun times, amazing times, but there is no crescendo, no 7 dwarfs following after us mounted on wild deer, no fairies changing the color of my dress and my father isn't floating on a giant wave to wish me well.

One day I was trying to take a 3 year old girl through the subway. Keeping her attention at the task of walking was difficult. So to keep her close to me I would tell her her favorite stories. I began to remember how misleading these myths can be. So I would try to end the stories something like this: "... After the Prince kissed Snow White she woke up and the dwarfs cheered. Then Snow white got her own castle and the Prince would come over to have long discussions with Snow White about philosophy, politics, music, books, favorite colors, their likes and dislikes, the weather, their childhoods, what their life goals were and many more wonderful topics. Sometimes he would made dinner for her and she would write poetry about him. Then after 1 year of dating and developing a great friendship they got engaged and then married."

Some how it doesn't seem as fun and simple as "and they lived happily ever after THE END!"

Fairytales are not all bad.
They have a great appeal for entertainment, they are quick and sweet. I think that stories of female royalty does instills a sense of worth and respect of women. In play it is fun to pretend that you are of a royal heritage (which is true, as daughters of our God). Usually these stories have a moral or riddle that is fun and or valuable.

The part that I have a problem with is when the prince part happens. In every story a prince "saves" the princess and they live happily ever after. I think this does ill to both sexes.
For men it can teach that their role in romance is to save the woman. When in reality this is impossible. Men are mortal and thus are subject to the weakness' of the flesh. They have moments of weakness. They can't know everything that you are thinking, feeling and wanting. They sometimes are forgetful, get sick or lose their job. They can't be everywhere we are protecting us.

Really we do need a savior, but we should have had him in our lives since the beginning. Christ is our savior, from all risk and fear.

For women fairytales says a man will save you. How many of us were subconsciously or consciously wanting to marry a man who would save us-- be it financially, socially, emotionally, sexually, etc. Also it teaches that you need to wait for your prince to come. And what are these fairytale women doing while they are waiting?... SLEEPING! BAH! Disgusting!
Or that if you kiss a frog he will/might turn into a their prince charming (that you can change someone to be what you want them to be). Uh... I never got any of my bad boy boyfriends to change.

Beyond the roles that these stories teach, these is also the ideologies they teach about love. This also spills over into all Hollywood films. What is love? What kind of love should I accept? What obligations do I have to those who "love" me? etc.

And what if our children do not find their prince or princess? Ever. Or not until much later in life? Where in a fairytale is there a strong, beautiful, intelligent man or woman who is single? Most single women (who are mortal) in these stories are spinsters (sounds pretty negative), or old hags. Some of the single characters are mystical like fairy god mothers, witches or wizards.

I guess the real way to remedy these myths is to make it clear to our children that they are just that - a story. And that it makes it ever more important to tell our children our true love stories and the love stories of the real people in their lives.
I think that all that Christ taught about love is just as valid in romantic love as it is the love we should have for everyone.
Love is kind, love is not puffed up, love is pacient, love is not selfish, love is not manipulative, love is long suffering, etc.

I personally will be teaching my children (if I have children) about strong men and women in history. Real people who made a difference in their lives. Like Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Katie Stanton, Joan of Arc, Frederick Douglas, Thomas Edison, Helen Keller, Joseph Smith, Emma Smith, and Johannes Gutenberg.

I realize it will take a great deal of energy to teach these stories, but I think it will be worth the time. I think that concepts and interest about our world begin at a young age, that all we learn later on in life is built and referenced on what we knew as children.