17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.
 

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Rediscovering Me

I'm figuring out how to contribute to the world outside of my immediate sphere of influence. At the end of 6 kids ( age 9-6 months, the last a set of twins). If you ask me what my interests are, I have to think to give you an answer. The first thing that comes to mind is... how to make the structure of my home and family work and work better. But then I think a little deeper and breathe deeply once or twice and, well, what are my interests, outside of what I must know and do in order to preserve my own sanity. I don't know. I love having red walls in my kitchen area. I love to hear my 5 and 3 year old talking while looking through a magazine and saying "lets order this online and then it will come in a box". Victory feels sweet when my son goes to the bathroom in the toilet. At the end of the day when the house is quiet and I think this is now my time--what do I want to do? During the day I can give you answers-- my brain still works. But by evening the desire must be strong or I can't remember.

What I used to want is not what I really want. I want peace. I want patience. I want laughter. I want interaction that is meaningful to me. I want a bit more energy when I am at my end....
I believe the energy is inside of me and need only be found when I figure out what inspires me...what are my interests. I'm excited to find out!

11 Comments:

  • Shaleen, I am with you. And I only have one little one sucking away my mind and energy and hours. I think part of what keeps me from remembering what it was that I wanted or what I want is that I never really took the time to figure it out. And now there's always an excuse to keep me from doing it. So thanks for writing a post to make me thing.
    posted by Blogger marian at 1/12/2006 05:55:00 PM  



  • Shaleen, I miss you. It was so nice to read your post. I totally identify--do moms even get to do anything besides mothering? It is the best job in the world but we do need our own space and identity to keep being our best.
    posted by Blogger Brandolyn at 1/12/2006 07:42:00 PM  



  • Shaleen, I miss you too. What is life like with these 6 little ones?
    posted by Blogger chloe at 1/12/2006 08:35:00 PM  



  • oh geez, just read what I wrote earlier. DUH. Should be thanks for writing a post to make me THINK. Clearly I wasn't doing that though...
    posted by Blogger marian at 1/12/2006 09:23:00 PM  



  • I found that becoming a mother made me realize there was so much I wanted to STILL do. There is an element to new motherhood that pushes you in that direction. You will ALWAYS take your time for granted until it is eaten up by another (or 6), I guess.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/13/2006 05:23:00 AM  



  • Shaleen, so good to hear your blogging voice. I miss you too. I hope you will be on here alot. I bet you have more stories than all of us put together, and I for one would love to hear them, and share in your wisdom.
    posted by Blogger Zinone at 1/13/2006 08:30:00 AM  



  • like the park and the middle of the night story....you should def. post about Rachel.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/13/2006 10:38:00 AM  



  • I think it's so funny how we have to think so hard about ourselves when we're asked about what WE like. I keep putting off writing my little profile on this site because...what ARE my interests? I don't have an occupation or anything to note. Ug. Sometimes it's hard not to feel a little left behind in the world and stuck in your own state of Momminess. I guess that's why we have each other!
    posted by Blogger Katie at 1/14/2006 09:09:00 PM  



  • me too. I'm almost ready for a meaningful something. When I'm not to tired to contemplate it.
    posted by Blogger fMhLisa at 1/14/2006 10:33:00 PM  



  • Shaleen, hi, glad to see you on here! Your kids are so adorable and charming that I don't know what else you'd want to do than be with them, but I admit it IS important to be yourself, have hobbies/interests as well.
    posted by Blogger Squiddy at 1/16/2006 03:20:00 PM  



  • sheesh, i only have two little kids and I feel like i'm forever encircled by these two satellites. I alternate between feeling like I have the greatest life in the world and envying my husband because he gets to (gasp) leave the house every day. I hope i'll feel a bit more human after we get a second car and my sphere can expand beyond the confines of this itty bitty apartment.
    posted by Blogger mindy at 1/19/2006 10:10:00 PM  



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