Quick, before I starve!

One of my new years goals is to get better at planning and executing meals. I actually think I am a pretty good cook when I set my mind to it. I watch the Food Network and I have good instincts about the cooking process-(except for that time I soaked chicken in soy sauce for about 12 hours…but that is how you learn right?) I enjoy making dishes that require a lot of chopping…it helps me get some of my anxiety out. In case you haven’t noticed, I carry a lot of anxiety.

I have been sort of “take it or leave it” about food since about 2001, so that is another reason why cooking is a low priority. The conflict there is that I would rather eat healthy food and chocolate over fast food or pizza or pretty much anything else bad for me, any day, and chocolate aside, that healthy food usual requires some preparation.

Then there are the children. Let’s face it, they should be eating healthy food. So, week 1 of PLANNING went really well. I sat down for about 30 minutes and decided what I would make, and as I decided I filled out my Fresh Direct (online grocery shopping) with exactly what ingredients I would need. The first meal was easy b/c it was just something I had to warm (I ordered one of Fresh Direct’s dinners for 4), the second one I made the night BEFORE we ate it, after the kids went to bed, then I just had to warm and serve the next night. Also successful.

Tonight however was trickier. I decided to make a meal at the dinner hour. So around 5:30 I started cooking and my baby sat in her high chair near where I was cooking and cried/whined the whole time. As I was cooking the sink was filling with dishes b/c I didn’t empty my dishwasher (and yes I know how lucky I am to HAVE a dishwasher) first, and thus couldn’t load it as I cooked. This along with the crying caused my chest to tighten. Then when I finally cleaned up (halfway) and sat down to eat, my baby was still fussing and I had to eat my meal in about 5 minutes while wrangling my wiggly baby, and trying to prevent her from getting botulism (b/c there was honey in the recipe and she kept grabbing at the food).

Of course when I had finished scarfing my meal (which was actually pretty good), I cleaned up the rest of my mess and the baby decided she was done crying then, and just hung out on the floor with her toys. I appreciated her being quiet during the cleaning, but would have rather enjoyed the experience of cooking and eating, then cleaning. I am so frustrated after all of this that I really need some ideas of how to feed my family, and ME!