17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Kids, you STILL owe me

When I got pregnant back in 2001, there were many things that were to happen that I did not expect.

I did not expect to LOSE 10 pounds during my first trimester.
I did not expect to come home from the hospital, after giving birth, weighing less than the day of my first appointment at week 9 of pregnancy.
Though losing that weight was H-E-double Hockeysticks (LOTS of barfing for LOTS of weeks), it was a nice perk.

I did not expect to feel that little spot near my va-jay-jay where there were two miniscule stitches, for a whole year.

I did not expect my hair falling out around my baby's 5 month birthday.

Most of these I was fine with...definitely fine with the weightloss, and the hair grew back, and like I said, after a year, everything felt fine DOWN THERE.

However, there have been some other things that I did not expect that I am not ok with.

The first is my shoe size. I remember reading that a woman's shoe size could go up during pregnancy or I guess, as a result of pregnancy. I never suffered from any swelling, so I thought I was fine with this situation. Then after my second baby I started noticing that a lot of styles of a shoes just weren't working with my feet. I didn't understand...until I realized, hmmmmm...maybe I should go up a size?

Now, it's really not a big deal to go up a 1/2 or sometimes a whole size, but the fact that it didn't occur to me, and I passed on a bunch of cool shes (b/c I am dumb), and that I had to replace some of my favorite shoes, is just a little bothersome. The WORST was when I was on a job and they handed me my shoes, and I had to amputate my pinky toes to get them OFF again...THAT'S how tight they were. OUCH.

The second, and most troubling is my allergy situation. I have always had allergies, but they really came out of the closet when I went through puberty. I was given a sheet of paper that was a long list of ALL my allergies and a rating at just HOW allergic I was to each one. Having allergies (foods, animals, indoor, outdoor), is just my lifestyle, and I am fine with it. Right now I take 3 medicines a day, and use my neti pot, and I am VERY healthy. During both pregnancies I did not take meds, and I did really well. In fact, pregnancy and nursing can act as an allergy medicine b/c of the boosted immune system (so my docs said), and many of them told me way back during puberty that a major hormonal change like pregnancy could REVERSE or MAKE BETTER some of my allergies.


Instead, with each pregnancy I have added food allergies to the growing list.

With Baby #1 I lost Peaches, Pears and Apples. This may not seem like a big deal, but I am also allergic to all melons, bananas, avocados, some citrus, and anything tropical I just avoid. I LOVED these fruits. Cooked or otherwise processed I can still eat some of them.

With Baby #2 I lost peanuts. UGH. I LOVE peanut butter. I love peanut butter candy and ice cream. I love snacks that have that PROCESSED ON THE SAME MACHINERY AS PEANUTS labels. I am annoyed. I am ok with other allergies, like say, shellfish...because I have never even tasted it, I don't know what I am missing, and I have always regarded it as poison. But now, all of a sudden, a food that I love and have eaten my whole life is taken away from me? The other day I was walking down the street just CRAVING chocolate peanut butter ice cream and I was like: I will NEVER be able to satisfy that craving.

The reaction isn't THAT big a deal...it's just a little swelling that causes me to sort of wheeze/cough for a few minutes, but every time you expose yourself to it, it gets worse, and I just can't KNOWLINGLY put something in my body that is possibly harmful.

I am not complaining. I will get used to this NEW change in my lifestyle, but I am just WOWED at what pregnancy has done to me (and I didn't even get to the back fat, and the random bumps on my eyelids that come and go, and the grey hairs...)


  • So can relate. Every time DH brings up having baby #2, I shudder and wonder what parts of my body will decide to freak out. I expected some things with baby #1: the weight gain, the sudden inefficiency of any bra I owned, etc. But two years down the line, I didn't think I'd still be dealing with chronic bothers like plantars fasciitis and stubborn eczema. Oh, and I lost my gallbladder along the way. That explained the debilitating back pain that would randomly occur throughout pregnancy and beyond. At least that one can't come back now ...

    All said, I think having to give up peanuts really, really sucks.
    posted by Anonymous JennyW at 7/02/2007 08:15:00 AM  

  • What I really miss is the ability to sneeze or vomit without worrying I'll pee my pants. The sneezing I can sometimes control but since I am three months preggers with #2 there is no telling when the heaving is coming on.

    Ooh, I also wish they made more supportive sports bras for us post-breast feeding moms with small chests. All I have now are skin flaps, but for some reason they seem to need super support. It seems support only comes in C cups or bigger.

    I hear ya about the gray hairs, they are sprouting up all over. Also, does a flat iron work for you anymore? Mine does absolutely nothing for me. Maybe it is the pregnancy, but I noticed it even before getting pregnant this second time; my hair is much harder to style.
    posted by Blogger Tally Girl at 7/02/2007 09:12:00 AM  

  • In all honesty, can we ever really pay back our mothers for all they put up with over the years? The physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental toll Mothering takes from us, and our own Mothers is more than we can know.

    On a lighter note, my sister got me a t-shirt recently that said "Too Blessed To Be Stressed." with a big rainbow on it. It really struck me as hilarious, as I totally envision the person wearing it as a like kind of scary fake-smiling completely stressed out mom who keeps frantically repeating that phrase as her kids run wild.... Wait, or is that just me wearing it as I smile in the mirror?
    posted by Blogger Rachel H at 7/02/2007 09:17:00 AM  

  • My hair still seems to be falling out! I think it's growing back in too, because I have all these patches of crazy sprouts on my head.

    Rachel H - I love your interpretation of the woman wearing the "too blessed to be stressed" shirt. Without it, that shirt is way too cheesy!
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 7/02/2007 09:23:00 AM  

  • tally girl...
    oh yeah...I can never jump on a trampoline again.
    And I used to go loosy goosey ALL the time with no bra back when I was a C, and now I feel so exposed with my double A self....although I made exceptions twice last week for really hot and sticky weather...
    posted by Blogger Kage at 7/02/2007 09:59:00 AM  

  • Boobs are gone, gone, gone! I feel like the 12 year old me. Seriously depressing. I was looking at myself the other day wondering why I even wear a bra (except to appear as though I have a chest!) I am convinced that I will be having a boob job after I'm done having kids - no joke. Fine lines around my eyes. I am sure I aged a few extra years when I was pregnant. And no matter how much weight I lose I have this stubborn flabby skin around my tummy. Oh well... I guess since I ponder doing it again it was all worth it :) And yes, sometimes I pee just a little when I sneeze - NOT fun.
    posted by Anonymous Beth at 7/02/2007 01:46:00 PM  

  • My two cents - I can relate to all that is being said, but if you think about all that your body had to do it is truely a miracle. I praise my body after doing it 6 time so beautifully, sort of... because I would of died in child birth with my first or second or fifth one if I had been a Pioneer. I'm not saying it was easy or fun every step of the way but it is worth it. I know you feel like you will die with your head in the "diaper pail", then they start leaving home and it hurts in a different way.
    I have not been able to sneeze without leakage for ... a long time but I remember when we are resurrected that everything is restored. lol Embrace the changes! :D

    PS Kage - I was up in NYC a few weeks ago stayed in Rego Park,saw Phantom, great time with my 3 daughters. Lucky you to live there.
    posted by Blogger delilas at 7/02/2007 02:43:00 PM  

  • I have to mentally brace each time I sneeze, tell my bladder this is NOT the time to let loose...

    And for those who know me well, I've never been shy about the boob job and tummy tuck I'm going to have once I birth a third...

    But...SO worth it. I gave my kids extra squeezes and kisses this morning because I was just happy that they're here.
    posted by Blogger chloe at 7/02/2007 02:55:00 PM  

  • No peanut butter? Yipes. At least you can still have chocolate. And maybe you can fill the peanut butter void with butterscotch or toffee? Is that processed with nuts?
    The boob-be-gone thing is killing me right now. I'm trying to find pads to go into my swimming suit so I don't look like a 12 year old BOY. It's depressing. I don't need to look like a porn star, but a little shape would be nice.
    I do have to agree...totally worth it. I could be concave and pee everytime I jump and have it be all good with one hug from my boy. Mmmmm...the joy.
    posted by Blogger Melissa at 7/02/2007 03:32:00 PM  

  • I have needed a reduction since, umm...just after high school, I think. But, three breastfed babies later (with a twin pregnancy thrown in there) has really increased the need.

    I had NO IDEA about the hemorrhoid issue. That is one thing that nearly did me in when I was pregnant with the twins. I get that it's not pleasant to talk about, but honestly, I was clueless.

    I was in my plastic surgeon's exam room today waiting for him to come in. There was a full length mirror and I was in a gown. I looked at the top half of my body, stretch marks and all. I was so unimpressed!!! However, I would not trade my three blessings for anything.

    (And I'm finally getting my reduction! July 13!)
    posted by Blogger Tandy at 7/02/2007 08:39:00 PM  

  • tandy, I had a reduction two years ago, between baby 2 and 3, and it was the BEST thing I've ever done for myself, my health and my back.

    Seriously, nursing two boys did nothing to reduce the enormous watermelons, and subsequently, baby 3 had a much easier time nursing!

    You want to talk about shoe size? Pre-babies, I was a 10-11. Big, but ok. I'm tall and not small, so 10 looks right on me- then I have #1. They grow. I am an 11. Now, two more babies later, I have to try and find dress shoes in SIZE 12!!!! Do you know what they have in size 12's?? Orthopedics and transvesite shoes. So if I want old lady shoes, I can rock, or if I want to look like a tranny hooker, I'm set. Yeah. Thanks kids.
    posted by Blogger tracy m at 7/02/2007 09:10:00 PM  

  • Tracy--Sorry to thread jack here, but have you heard of Barefoot Tess? They have cute shoes for bigger feet (they go up to size 15 I think). . . check them out at barefoottess.com. Good luck.

    And Kage, all I can say is Yikes. I didn't know allergies could be affected. . . sucks. But 4 months later and I'm starting to believe it's all worth it. :)
    posted by Blogger miggy at 7/03/2007 06:23:00 AM  

  • Ahh- the joys and surprises of pregnancy. After having three kids (one of my four is my stepdaughter), I have decided that my body needs a break for about 5 to 10 years. I love, love, love my babies, but the pregnancy part of something I could definitely do without. Some of the things I hated? I had HORRIBLE nausea and barfing episodes during all 3 pregnancies (or as my bro would say, I worshipped the ivory throne daily)- to the point where I had to go in to the hospital and get IV treatments, my shoe size went up one and I had to get rid of all my old shoes, my stretch marks and c-section scars (I like to think of them as badges of courage or war wounds), the loss of stomach muscles that created an extra layer of loose skin on my stomach from the 2 c-sections, the weak bladder (I swear I thought my water broke like 10 times this last pregnancy), the hair loss, the 6 weeks of bleeding after childbirth, the wonder of what happened to having boobs after nursing, the back pain, the annoying heartburn, the skin breakouts, and the moodiness that all those crazy hormones caused. Both my sister and I developed lactose intolerance after our pregnancies too, which I thought was weird. Anyway, it was SO worth it when I held my babies in my arms for the first time. The magic of forgetfulness is amazing! I loved the "too blessed to be stressed" comment. It puts things into a much easier perspective. But I still think our kids owe us- as I am learning to appreciate my own mom for having not only 6 kids, but 6 long pregnancies...

    It's too bad you have to deal with allergies, Kage. My little boy has the same problems with wheezing and itching after certain foods. It certainly makes us very aware of everything he's eating.
    posted by Blogger LJ at 7/03/2007 07:21:00 AM  

  • miggy- thank you for the link; that's the most cute shoes in my size I have ever seen! Awesome!
    posted by Blogger tracy m at 7/03/2007 04:49:00 PM  

  • My baby just turned 5 months old and my hair is EVERYWHERE. DH thought there was something seriously wrong with me. Glad that is normal!

    I don't know about episiotomy stitches, but my c-section scar still hurts months later, especially when baby wants to walk and climb all over me! ( not to thread jack, but does anyone know on second c-sections, is the incision done in the exact same place as the first?)
    posted by Blogger Cat at 7/07/2007 08:12:00 PM  

  • i am going to have my second c-section soon. my understanding is yes, it is done in the same place as the first one. it helps minimize scaring and scar tissue can be removed if needed. if you are still having pain at your incision site, you should talk to your doctor.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 7/08/2007 05:48:00 AM  

  • Ah yes, I tried to jump on a trampoline last week with my kids. I ended up trying to do my kegal exercises while I was jumping to hold everything in.

    One bonus for me during pregnancy is that the last 5 months the hair on my legs quits growing. I think maybe my body realized that I can't fold that way very easily anymore.
    posted by Blogger Wendy at 7/08/2007 05:32:00 PM  

  • the whole sneezing/peeing thing stinks. Allergies- they hare worse, but nothing I can't live with. (Or should I say no foods I have to give up cause they make me ill)

    As for Delila's comment- it is a miracle, but I guess I resent my body because my only pregnancy has screwed up my body enough that I have no chance of another one. So, that would be my big ick on pregnancy, LOL!
    posted by Blogger Frog Thinks at 7/09/2007 03:21:00 AM  

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