17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Dear Person at the Church Headquarters who decides which toilets will be installed in all 2 gajillion church buildings around the world,

I have been a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (otherwise known as the Mormons), for twenty years. I have attended a variety of church buildings in a variety of places including: California, Arizona, Utah, Illinois, Alberta, Austria, Massachussets, and New York-to name a few.

The beauty of the gospel is that no matter where you attend, everything is the same: The church structure, the spirit, the hair-dos, and unfortunately the toilets. I have visited the bathrooms in most of the church buildings that I have attended services. I have observed that every time I use the facilities in one of these buildings, the flusher on the toilet is weak.

Most of the time, when I approach a toilet, if it is not plugged up, it has toilet paper in it that has been flushed into smithereens. If the toilet bowl is clean to begin with, and I flush after use, the same result occurs (as a side note, I am usually limiting my usage of the toilet to the #1 variety). I patiently stand at the toilet and try to flush again, with no productive result. I then decide to go wash my hands before trying a third time, at which point I usually just leave it the way it is, in the name of spiritual upliftment (I gotta get to class!).

Perhaps my flushing technique should be to blame. Perhaps, I am the only one of your members who has experienced this toilet-flushing frustration. If so, please return this letter with some Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints-specific toilet flushing instructions.

20 years is too long to have such issues with these toilets. Thank you for your time.

Kagey Kage


  • How dare you take it upon yourself to criticize the Brethren over such a trivial matter!

    They have far more important issues than the toilet flushers to worry about. Such as: what is UP with that ridiculous toilet paper that is really small kleenex? I hate having to pull out twenty of those stupid things one at a time.
    posted by Blogger Julie M. Smith at 4/29/2007 09:27:00 PM  

  • I'll be. I've never had that experience.
    posted by Blogger Stephen at 4/30/2007 05:10:00 AM  

  • Hee hee hee...
    posted by Blogger chloe at 4/30/2007 07:15:00 AM  

  • Funny! I am suprised you didn't metion how SHORT they are. Maybe it's just our building, but ours are like made for little people or something! (No offense little people!)But I always feel like I have to epecially squat on them.
    posted by Blogger Rachel H at 4/30/2007 08:29:00 AM  

  • hahahahaha! Yes, they are short, too (but I'm 5'10", so whatever).
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 4/30/2007 09:42:00 AM  

  • You are so right....they also smell the same to me...maybe everyone uses the same cleaning stuff? I'm glad the church is very frugal with tithing money and all, but it would be nice to have a pleasant bathroom experience at church.
    posted by Blogger Jen at 4/30/2007 11:53:00 AM  

  • Here's an idea! Add "Church Bathrooms" on our tithing slips. I'd make a donation over BOMs anytime! Hahaha.
    posted by Blogger Maria Tortilla at 4/30/2007 07:18:00 PM  

  • I can't say that I have noticed the poor flush power, but maybe I am used to it since the water crisis in CA years ago when we turned the pressure down on our own toilets. But I have noticed the short toilets and I am only 5'3". In fact I often wondered if the top of the toilet was lower than bottom of the stall door. I know it's not, but it sure feels like it sometimes!
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 4/30/2007 08:24:00 PM  

  • I burst out laughing when I read this. Just yesterday I went to use the restroom at church. The first stall I walked into had a toilet that wouldn't flush. Fortunately there was nothing terribly unpleasant sitting in it. (sorry, but we are talking about toilets!) After using another stall I walked down the hall to track down a member of the Bishopric so that I could let them know and put a sign on the door. DH was entertaining our twins in the foyer and laughed when he saw me carrying a handwritten sign that said "Out of order."

    This happens all the time! I had never really thought about it. And yes, the smell...ick.
    posted by Blogger Tandy at 4/30/2007 09:47:00 PM  

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