The Miracle of Forgiveness

I had a defining moment when I was about 21 years old.

I read the Poisonwood Bible. I closed the book upon reading the last few words, and I knew I could forgive.

I forgave someone who I couldn't forgive for the past 15-or-so years. I forgave him for cancelling every trip he said he would take to come visit me, for drinking beer in front of me when that "wasn't allowed", for giving me a kitten as a gift, even though he should have known how allergic to cats I was, for lying to me, for putting me in danger, for swearing in front of me, for infedility, drug abuse, and abandonment.

The weight of 500 elephants times 500 lifted off of my shoulders, and I was free.

I learned how to cry. I learned how to laugh. I learned how to find joy. I learned to regain my childhood. I learned that holding that in for so long was damaging. I learned to love. I learned to say "I'm sorry." I learned how to reach out. I learned how to be a friend. I learned how to be a wife. I learned how to follow my dreams. I learned to forgive myself. I learned how to ask for forgiveness. I learned how to forgive others. I learned that sometimes there's nothing to forgive.

I had to learn so much, because I had been suffocating from the elephant weight for so long. I learned it all so quickly and so energetically that it was all a blur.

Forgiving him was my miracle.

"To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."
~David Bednar