17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

At Least He's Normal and My Feelings are Natural

This weeks has been particularly frustrating when it comes to Baby Brother's sleep habits and crankiness.

One day he was awake for 6 hours straight. I could have killed the kid.

A few nights this week, Dad has come home and I have just handed the little guy off saying "I'm done." This prompted Dad to pull out our favorite baby book from the bookshelf for a little help on the subject.

"Many parents find this time particularly frustrating, since many babies reach a peak of fussiness and wakefullness at about six weeks. Your baby may irritate you and exhaust you. He may give up napping all together, and to make matters worse, when awake, he may appear to me grumbling all day. You may feel battered at the end of each day; you may be at your wits' end. This too is natural..."

Hallelujah. At least he's normal. And I'm not the only parent that has ever been annoyed with their "bundle of joy."

The book goes on to say that as the baby's nervous system matures, things will start settling down. I think I remember this same thing with the first two kids. But my, how easily I forgot. (I also forgot about the whole growth spurt thing at 3 weeks and I was like "Why am I nursing all day! I can't live like this!").

I have to keep reminding myself that each day (good or bad) is not setting the pattern for the rest of my life - or even for the rest of the week. I thought by the third kid I would be a pro at this (or at least by now I wouldn't be taken by surprise by the ups and downs of natural child development). I guess not.


  • My mother, after giving birth to 5 children and surviving many Phoenix summers, sometimes compared the two. She said that you forget what a Phoenix summer is like and only remember the nice months, and with babies, you only remember the sweet parts and forget the rest.

    And that's why she kept having babies and continued to live in Phoenix.
    posted by Blogger Kathi D at 5/29/2008 11:34:00 AM  

  • Hi Carrie,

    I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say I'll think positive thoughts that things will get easier soon.

    posted by Anonymous MKC at 5/29/2008 11:34:00 AM  

  • Oh, mercy, can I ever relate. The first time I got my son to take a nap longer than an hour was at 7 months, after surgery, when he was on Loritab.

    We had no semblance of a nap schedule that worked until 13 months. I had many days where he'd be up for 13 hours with only a 25 minute nap in the afternoon.

    And I'm pregnant with the next one. Heaven help us!
    posted by Blogger Emily C at 5/29/2008 12:36:00 PM  

  • See, this is why people keep having babies - we completely FORGET what those early days (and nights) are like. Seriously, I now have no real memory of my kids first 3 months - it's all a blanket of fog.

    But I will come next week and hold the little cranky bundle...and love it :)
    posted by Blogger Chloe at 5/29/2008 02:52:00 PM  

  • this is why having kids is so shocking. they trick you around every corner. I still have a hard time getting DS#1 to sleep and he is almost 4. he will always have a hard time sleeping, and I will always have a hard time coping with it. i guess there is some comfort in knowing. its just them and this is your life.
    live it well.
    posted by Blogger kristie at 5/29/2008 02:56:00 PM  

  • Actually, I think the reason why we forget about what the lack of sleep is like is that we're not getting any sleep. Our brains aren't functioning. How can we remember anything?

    Nature's tricky that way.
    posted by Blogger Susan M at 5/29/2008 03:45:00 PM  

  • Carrie - I SO could've written this post and baby girl is only two weeks old. Seriously I completely blocked out this phase from kiddo #1. The newborn phase is HARD. I keep telling myself that the fog will lift... it may not happen for (about) three more months but it will happen.

    I almost blogged about my problems getting her to sleep at night (instead of ALL DAY LONG), but haven't had the time to begin to write b/c when she sleeps I feel like I should sleep (especially if the toddler is also sleeping). The other night I nursed her SEVEN TIMES! And I only cried two of those seven times from complete exhaustion, not to mention the hormones. What a picture! The new mom nursing her baby at 3am with tears streaming down her face. I am a cliche!

    Anyway, I asked my pediatrician for advice and she said, "it's totally normal, just have patience". Not too helpful, but at the same time I felt relieved to know that everything is normal and not all moms have these perfect newborns who sleep thru the night from birth.

    I'm thinking of you.... if you need anything give me a call. We can commiserate together. And it is a good thing newborns are so cute otherwise I just couldn't deal.
    posted by Blogger Beth at 5/29/2008 04:38:00 PM  

  • Beth, I am sending you a cyber hug :)
    posted by Blogger Chloe at 5/29/2008 04:55:00 PM  

  • oh what? Nu-uh...I thought it was a rule--nay, a law of NATURE, that it got easier with each kid. You know that #'s 2 and 3 on up were easier than the first (unless you had a fluke angel baby the first time, then you're SOL...). Yeah I'm pretty much banking on number 2 (not prego yet) will be easier than #1. If not, I'm DONE.
    posted by Blogger miggy at 5/29/2008 05:04:00 PM  

  • I agree with Susan M. Nature helps us forget with the lack of sleep thing. Honestly? I only remember that I didn't get much sleep, but I don't remember the really down-and-dirty-break-down moments anymore. But I do remember the smell of their precious heads, their cooing sighs, and the absolute joy of just holding them.

    I think God does that on purpose, too.
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 5/29/2008 07:47:00 PM  

  • P.S. Good luck!! You'll get through it. You have to, because he'll grow up eventually. :)
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 5/29/2008 07:48:00 PM  

  • Thank you for making me feel normal!

    I've got a perfect route that I march around the house both day and night to keep our little guy happy. I also still have a 1 year old who likes to hop on for the ride too so I like to hand both of them over to Dad as soon as he walks in the door.

    At least it is nice out and we can go outside. All my other screamers were winter babies and keeped me cooped up inside.

    Again, I can't tell you how comforting it is to hear of other babies who don't sleep. Also- at my witts end one of my pediatricians did say babies who don't sleep tend to be very smart.
    posted by Blogger alibop at 5/29/2008 10:55:00 PM  

  • My 4 month old doesn't sleep unless we give him some prescription gas drops. sometimes I worry that I'm drugging him just so I can get a full night's sleep, but then I remember how I can't function without sleep and stop feeling as guilty.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 5/30/2008 12:52:00 AM  

  • Well, I am so sorry that you're in a difficult period with your baby!I also have no advice- other than at least you're not alone!

    With my Baby #3 coming at any moment, I have only been thinking about how scared and frightened I am of the ACTUAL birth.... now I am getting reminded of the difficulties of newborn-dom. EEK! I really hope I can survive any of it at all!! ha!
    posted by Blogger Rachel H at 5/30/2008 05:01:00 AM  

  • Thanks for all your thoughts. I think the post may have sounded worse than it actually is. Or maybe right now I feel better because yesterday, the little guy actually took good naps during the day and I wasn't home to deal with putting him to bed.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 5/30/2008 08:19:00 AM  

  • My son has slept for four hours in a row three times in a row today, and I'm loving it. For once, I'm waking up today only somewhat exhausted, instead of completely exhausted and dreading a day of no naps. I'm glad he's started to make cute noises that aren't grunting or screaming finally, it helps make up for my frustration at his extreme gassiness and irritability and refusal to sleep without me holding him for most of the day. I'm also glad to know this is all pretty normal, and that I'm not a bad mommy for wanting desperately to get to the toddler stage already.
    posted by Blogger kadusey at 5/30/2008 09:10:00 AM  

  • Hey Carrie-
    My boys were both like that. Good for you for remembering this is not what the rest of your life will be like. There were many many days I had to hand the baby off to dad when he got home. I needed a break.

    It does get better. Someone told me once, boys are tough when they're little, girls are tough when they're big. I don't know if it's true or not, since all my kids are still little, but so far it holds water!

    Good luck and hang in there. The third one is the hardest, I think. After that, it just doesn't make much difference.
    posted by Anonymous tracy m (dandelion mama) at 5/30/2008 03:16:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home