17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Ah kids...they say the darndest things. Here are two recent gems from my 5 year old. The first was this evening...

It had been a rough day with NO listening from the 5 year old. My words evaporated like vapors once they hit his ears. It was unusual behavior for him...and it drove me nuts. At the end of the day, I was tucking him in and reminded him that tomorrow he would have a fresh start and to PLEASE listen better. He looked at me...listening. I then told him that it makes me frustrated when he doesn't listen. To which he replied:

"Mom, if you are frustrated with me, just take a deep breath".

Which...I then did...so that I wouldn't laugh and then strangle him.

The second gem was a few weeks ago when he was getting the last of his kindergarden shots, which included chickenpox. I was explaining that when I was a child, they didn't have the chickenpox vaccine available so I got chickenpox. To which he responded with earnest feeling:

"Really mom? Oh...DAMN."

Seriously, did he just say that? The doctor was about to come in the room to give him his shot so the most I could do was say, "EXCUSE ME. WHAT did you just say?"

And looking right at me, little wheels in his head spinning quickly, he responded:

"Ummmmm...I was talking about a beavers house..."

Got any gems from your little ones?


  • My three year old son sat across the table from my ten year old daughter as we had pizza for dinner. There was one slice left and they were both eyeing it up. My daughter reached in and grabbed it, so the three year old son had to think fast. He told her, "If you eat that pizza, some day you'll be big and fat...just like DAD!!!" They ended up sharing the slice and dad went a diet.
    posted by Blogger Scherer at 5/28/2008 06:54:00 AM  

  • My then 4 year old was taking a bath one night. He had been inspecting his private area. He then said to me,
    "Mom did you know I have eggs in here!"
    I had to call my husband immediately with that one.
    We now refer to them as "eggs" in our house!
    posted by Anonymous idaho at 5/28/2008 07:58:00 AM  

  • When my son was 8:

    "I get hungry, and I get full. THAT'S MY LIFE. It's not your life! SHUT UP!"
    posted by Blogger Susan M at 5/28/2008 08:14:00 AM  

  • WOW, these are funny. Personal fave right now is the "I have eggs in here". Keep em' coming...
    posted by Blogger Chloe at 5/28/2008 09:13:00 AM  

  • A few months ago my six year old son had to conduct family night and decided that we should sing "We will rock you" by Queen for our opening song and that family wrestling should be our activity. It was an interesting night. I wound up with a headache and a Charlie Horse.
    posted by Blogger Scherer at 5/28/2008 10:10:00 AM  

  • these are hilarious! i think i just wet my pants.
    posted by Blogger kristie at 5/28/2008 11:33:00 AM  

  • My 3.5 year old son was at the doctors a few months back for a check-up. The nurse said, "show me your muscles," so she could take his blood pressure. He innocently replied, "my muscles are in my penis."
    posted by Anonymous Wendy at 5/28/2008 01:02:00 PM  

  • Just last night, my 3 year old daughter said to her 1 year old brother, "Matt, look at the words that are coming out of my mouth!" And in a very scolding tone, I must say. I guess we say that too much but totally funny.
    posted by Blogger Elise at 5/28/2008 01:04:00 PM  

  • This isn't nearly as funny as the others already posted but it makes us laugh. Any time you say anything like "you're so silly!" to our two-year-old, he replies with "I not silly! I George!" Doesn't matter if you're saying he's messy or cool or your little man, he's not that, he's George!
    posted by Anonymous Emi at 5/28/2008 10:11:00 PM  

  • Elise, that's pretty funny...I can see Kate saying that to Matt...
    posted by Blogger Chloe at 5/28/2008 10:17:00 PM  

  • I got nothin. I guess my kids aren't that funny. :)
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 5/29/2008 09:10:00 AM  

  • This is a story from my SIL when her now 7 year old DD was only like 3... she was pushing her in the cart at walmart, when out of the BLUE, her daughter points at some random worker lady who is like folding shirts, and says "What in the HELL is that lady doing?"

    Whaaaat? They totally do NOT swear in thier family..so it was quite a shocker.
    posted by Blogger Rachel H at 5/29/2008 09:11:00 AM  

  • My four year old very seriously said to my bald dad, "Grandpa you'll get more hair when you are resurrected." I couldn't help but laugh.
    posted by Anonymous amya at 5/29/2008 10:45:00 AM  

  • We've been talking about missionaries a lot lately because my youngest brother is leaving on his mission next week (yikes!) and dh's mother is on a mission right now.

    The other day, two-year-old dd said, "I need to work. Should I be a missionary?"
    posted by Blogger sunny at 5/30/2008 09:08:00 PM  

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