17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Nice Mormon Family in the White House

Recently DH and I were discussing the upcoming election and the possibility of Brother Romney becoming our next president. Rather than get depressed about the political implications of this scenario, we started to joke about what it might be like for a traditional Mormon family to inhabit the White House. I have to admit it kind of excites me to think about it...and it definitely makes me laugh. Some of our questions....

-Will the Elders Quorum help with the big move?

-Where will the Romneys put their food storage? Maybe they could convert the Lincoln Bedroom....

-Will the Deacons come to the White House on Fast Sundays to collect fast offerings? How funny of picture is that....a bunch of prepubescent 12-year olds in clip-on ties and highwater polyester slacks trying to get through White House security....

-Will the Romney's home teachers and visiting teachers have to go through FBI background checks before they make their monthly visits?

-Will the White House chef have to learn how to make jello salad?

-What if President Romney is called to the Nursery in his new ward? Will he make his Secret Service agents chase toddlers and hand out cheez-its for two hours every Sunday? (I admit it...if I had SS agents, I would make them do it!) Really, how great of church are we in....although not likely...the leader of the free world could be called to serve in the Nursery.

And, more seriously, what would the effect of having an LDS president in office have on the Church (or more precisely, the public's perceptions of the Church?) My guess would be that it depends on how popular of president he is....but overall....it probably wouldn't have much of an effect.


  • I hold great comfort in the fact that there is a chance the white house chef won't have to learn to make jello salad since Romney isn't from Utah. (At least I thought he was from the east, but I'm lazy and not googling to check right now but anyway....) Growing up in Tx in the church til I was 20 and moved to Id, I never once had this green jello that people always talked about. Then I moved to Id and the ward's request a "jello salad" for ward parties, not a desert..... So like i said, there is hope that the country won't be put up to the horribleness that is salad in the form of jello.
    posted by Blogger Angela at 1/20/2008 07:34:00 PM  

  • I'm cracking up - where will he put his food storage. LOL!
    posted by Blogger Tip Junkie at 1/20/2008 08:07:00 PM  

  • angela, he's from Michigan. We're in his home ward, his brother and sister are still in the ward and they don't seem like the jello salad type to me.
    posted by Blogger kadee at 1/21/2008 04:58:00 AM  

  • Jen, very funny...loved the post. How about that Nevada Caucus? Lot's Mormon supporters. I met a woman the other day and when she found out I was Mormon she said: Oh, so you're for Mitt? So, not sure if that was her own perception or one that is going around, but after Nevada I think it's pretty real. Yikes.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/21/2008 05:14:00 AM  

  • Which is actually sad, because the exit polls showed that even if every Mormon in NV had stayed home and NOT voted, Mitt still would have won. But the AP doesn't go for that kind of "truth". Grrr...

    This is funny! I received a forwarded email message with all of these questions (and dozens more) last month. Here it is (since we're sharing --I apologize that it's so long.):

    If Mitt Romney became President of the US (code name POTUS) won't we have something we've never had before -- a president who goes to a specific church? All other presidents belonged to religions that didn't have tight congregational boundaries.
    Now, think about that: What Ward would POTUS be in?
    If you are his new Bishop, here are your top questions:
    1. Will you allow an inaugural ball to be held in the cultural hall? Do you mount security cameras on top of each basketball rim and have a secret service detail stationed on the stage?
    2. Can you call Mitt and Ann as the Nursery leaders... even if you really feel inspired?
    3. Who is going to home teach them? Will you call someone who needs activation but may not pass the vetting and national security screening?
    4. If Harry Reid and Mitt Romney are in the same High Priest group, will you need to be there to keep order?
    5. Exactly how will tithing settlement work? Will the Secretary of the Treasury come too?
    6. Will you be inviting the new Romney family to speak in Sacrament Meeting... and if they go a little over at what point do you ask them to sit down?
    7. Will the Secret Service do a sweep of the building before each meeting? And if the Romney's always leave before Sunday School, will the Sunday School president need to interview them? If they stay, where will you hold the class?
    8. Can you call the Secret Service agents to help out in Primary?
    9. If you give Mitt a calling and the two Democrats in the Ward raise their hand AGAINST sustaining him - partly out of habit - does the Supreme Court need to be involved?
    10. If you can't give them a calling (job), and they don't attend very often (for presidential stuff) will that mean they're 'inactive?' If they're not active, can you give them a Temple Recommend ? And if you do, can they go? Will the Secret Service have to screen the temple too?
    11. If the President wants to hold Sacrament Meeting at Camp David or the White House for security reasons, is that a conflict of Church and State?

    If you're assigned to be the Romney's home teacher:
    1. Can you just drop by, no appointment?
    2. Can you even call them for an appointment or do you have to go through the Chief of Staff?
    3. Can you bring by Christmas sweets and cookies? Will they be analyzed? And for how many people - family, secret service details?
    4. If you don't come can the IRS do an audit on you?
    5. Will they want to do a national security background check?
    6. Do you have to have a permanent companion who has been vetted? Can you just grab any teacher or priest to come with you? And what if that priest has been a little wayward? Do you need to search him first?
    7. Do you have to help him move in and out of the White House?
    8. If Ann Romney gets sick, are you allowed to bring in meals or at least tell the Relief Society about it?
    9. What can you share with the Bishop about the Romneys?
    10. Do you have to ask them about their year's supply?
    11. If you get a late night call for a blessing will reporters follow you around wanting to know what was wrong and what you said?

    If Mitt Romney is assigned to be YOUR home teacher:
    1. Is telling the group leader you haven't been home taught a national security breech?
    2. If he wants to come at the end of the month, do you accept his reason, "I've been out of town?"
    3. Will he drop by unannounced or will the media crews give him away?
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 1/21/2008 07:39:00 AM  

  • I am the Baptist preacher, and you have me laughing, too.

    Jello would become the national food to trump even the thanksgiving turkey?

    But Kadee gives me hope.
    posted by Anonymous Todd Wood at 1/21/2008 09:09:00 AM  

  • Cheryl, I thought there must be something out like what you posted...I looked around the bloggernacle and didn't find anything. Oh well!

    Kage, Yes...I have also had similar responses when people find out I'm LDS lately. Last Saturday was my first time at my new bookclub and I was asked if I wanted wine...and my friend said that I don't drink, I'm a Mormon and then I blurted out....but I'm not voting for Mitt! Then I was thinking, why did I find it necessary to clarify my politics like that?...I guess because I've gotten that question so much! This election seems different.... not ALL mormons are voting for Mitt (maybe not even the majority? I'm not sure), younger women seem to be voting for Obama and a lot of blacks seem to be voting for Clinton. It makes things more interesting.... oops...I didn't mean to make this post political!
    posted by Blogger Jen at 1/21/2008 12:08:00 PM  

  • My dh & I have also had this discussion. What laughs we've had, and you guys helped to bring also!

    While I won't get into my thoughts on politics- I will say that it infuriates me all the hub-bub on it all. Good grief. When did religion matter more than anything else!! I'm so ready for this year to be over!
    posted by Blogger Melzie at 1/21/2008 04:10:00 PM  

  • jen, I love the post, sorry, I know your intent wasn't to go political, it just happened to me though, so was on my mind...
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/21/2008 05:09:00 PM  

  • Hilarious, Jen! That was a great laugh!
    posted by Blogger Katie at 1/22/2008 07:32:00 AM  

  • So funny Jen! (and I think yours is funnier than the forwarded e-mail that neither you or I got for some reason :)

    Love the idea of the President of the US being a nursery worker. Hysterical.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 1/22/2008 08:38:00 AM  

  • Oh and people just don't seem to have a sense of humor about green jello anymore. So sad.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 1/22/2008 08:39:00 AM  

  • That was hi-larious! All of them!
    Fwiw, I don't like green Jello. I didn't even know what funeral potatoes were until Tracy M told me. What kind of lame Mo am I?!
    posted by Blogger Mo Mommy at 1/22/2008 09:11:00 AM  

  • I agree this post is much better then any email I have seen floating around about this possible scenario. Good one Jen!

    And I know this wasn't meant to get political - but I do have to mention one thing that irks me a little - why isn't the fact that Huckabee was bussing voters, and giving sermons, and ministers calling on their congregations to vote for the "Christian" leader as big of an issue as Mormons in NV who happen to vote for Romney (who by the way was pretty much the only GOP candidate who campaigned in NV?) Why are LDS always the annoying, weird, lame, out there? Can you imagine the uproar if Bishops and Stake Presidents were organizing voting trips and sacrament meetings devoted to getting Romney elected?

    OK, I am going to end on a non-bitter note - think about the possible increase in activity in whichever ward possible Pres. Romney attends? How silly will that be?
    posted by Blogger Melissa at 1/23/2008 06:50:00 PM  

  • Aaron Johnston wrote a great colum about this a while ago at www.nauvoo.com

    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 2/02/2008 01:33:00 PM  

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