Where's my creative self?

Before I had my second baby I think I was a pretty creative girl. I loved leaving secret notes, making cute gifts, creating things on the sewing machine, making crafty cards, and the like. But it hit me (and I think has been sneaking up on me now and then) that I just don't do it like I used to. And it makes me sad. I think of the adorable homemade Christmas gifts my mom had made her many children and I want to do that. I think of the lovey things I used to do for my dh and I want to do those things again.

There are reasons. I haven't been conveniently located near a JoAnn's or Michaels in over 3 years. Even when I do get to a craft/fabric store I stress about buying stuff just because of the dreaded possibility of needing to return it or go back for one forgotten item. (It'd be that lovely hour drive up and hour back all over again.)

Also, it seems like when you're a Mom your brain is spread so thin, your patience ever tested, your creativity spent on thinking of SOMETHING else for dinner besides grilled cheese. And praying the kids will eat it. So, is there just not as much time or energy or space for that creativity to flow.

And little kids. They're always around. And when they're not, once the dishes are done and the house put-together and lessons planned and yadda yadda yadda...I usually feel like sleeping...or something.

And there's always money. I don't think I'm super tight, but I tend to worry about costs to where it can spoil the fun of creating a fun gift or project. I can annoy myself.

I suppose I'm looking for a few things to talk about. First, do any of you feel the same? How do you keep your creative self alive? Do I have to wait for my kids to be in school? (Please don't say yes.) Do I have to do The Artist's Way program...I don't think I'm that much of an artist. Am I just being a wimp and need a good kick in the pants?

And can we talk about gifts? What do you get men? I've never been good at coming up with creative OR generic guy-gifts. You may think this off-topic, but my creative hole was noticed as our anniversary came and went and I hardly had thought about it, when I know years ago I would have given it a lot more attention. It was pathetic and I felt/feel horrible. Something's got to change.

....a few days later....

So, I wrote this draft and it's been about a week. In the meantime, I cut off my son's jeans to sew them into shorts. While I was in the basement I pulled out the sewing stuff, fabric, and craft boxes. My daughter and I sewed cute jean purses from the bottom of my son's pant legs. We sewed on eyelet trim and sparkly buttons for fun--it was fantastic. I think I have some advice for myself already: Keep sewing machine and fabric out (tricky with kids, but let's find a way!) and look through fabric and supplies now and then. I have plenty of things on hand to get me started.