17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Mini Me

Shortly after becoming a mother I realized that my child was imitating me. Believe it or not this was a real moment for me: "Oh no, she's imitating ME". Duh right? I realized that whatever behaviors I modeled, would become the behaviors of my daughter. She is a walking reflection of myself. I purposely only have one mirror in my house because I don't want to be distracted by my reflection. Sometimes this gets me in to trouble because I will have articles of clothing on that I don't necessary realize or remember putting there, and am slightly embarrassed to find that I might have gone out in public like that. The other day it was reindeer antlers (Thanks Pukey)...luckily I discovered them before exiting the premises.

The little mirror following me around has taught me about my strengths and weaknesse. Here is a list of what I am proud of and what I'm not.

Behaviors that Pukey does that I am ok with:
1.Two hands on the keyboard, "typing" in a rhythm with all fingers moving. To me this shows that I am educated in typing.

2.Treating strangers with respect: Especially when she buys a hotdog at the stand, she always says thank you.

3.Singing. It is like an improvisational musical in my home from dawn to dusk. She has heard and seen me sing and she is a talented little bug.

4.Hugging. I am not a big hugger, but I do love my friends, and Pukey always shows excitement when she sees her friends in a social setting, and usually this involves a lot of hand holding and hugging.

5.She is a really great big sister. She is always trying to protect her sister from harm and take care of her.

6. Jokes. She tells a lot of them...she thinks they're funny and apparently so do many other 4-year-olds. I think she has picked up on my sense of humor. The only one that she invented: What does art start with? person responds: A? she responds: No, a pirate, ARGH!

7. Saying "I'm sorry". I think I have to credit this to my husband, he taught me how to say "I'm sorry" too. I don't think I had ever uttered it before I met him. (Dysfunctional family issues....)

And now for the behaviors that I want to change for both of us:
1.Tone. Yes I speak with a tone sometimes, and she has been quick to pick up on that, especially when she is frustrated or upset.

2.Hitting. This was more of a problem when she was around 2. I don't hit THAT much anymore, but I would say well into my teens I HIT. This unfortunately might be a genetic inheritance for her.

3.Short prayers. I think I set a bad example of praying, especially when I am hungry and about to have the chance to eat.

4.Chocolate Consumption. We are both addicts. Again, the line is blurred here between nature vs. nurture. I don't remember the moment I introduced her to chocolate milk, but I certainly regret it.

5.Saying: "STOP!" Happy Nanny was babysitting once and told me how Pukey would say: "STOP" a lot. She seemed to really disapprove of this and wondered where it came from. I said: "Well, she says it because I say it to her!"

6.Moody. I have been told by several of my friends that Pukey is moody. I don't really notice it, but maybe that's because I am moody too. Am I moody guys?

7.Potty humor. We both love making fart sounds. But hers translates to the real thing. Sometimes in the middle of primary she will let one fly and laugh at herself. I guess that is better than being embarrassed about it or blaming someone else. And we both recently taught the baby how to make a fake burp sound, and all three of us think it's hilarious every time.


  • I totally relate. My first daughter is an exact replica of me. And frankly, I'm kind of getting sick of all the comments like:
    "Oh, she talks just like you!"
    "She looks EXACTLY like you!"
    "There's a mini-Cheryl!"

    Yeah. I get it. Shut-up already.

    And I think the only reason it bothers me is because of the weaknesses factor. I see all of my faults in her (okay, not "all"), and it's hard to deal with sometimes.

    But thanks for the reminder about the strengths. It's easy for me to forget that my daughter has a lot of my strengths, as well. Hmmm...maybe I'll have to make a list, too...
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 9/13/2006 09:13:00 PM  

  • I think that's neat that she's just like you. I always wanted people to say that I looked and acted exactly like my mom or dad. Instead I get an even mix or I get "You're just Mia."
    posted by Anonymous Mia Mortensen at 9/13/2006 10:41:00 PM  

  • I guess she isn't JUST like me...in fact I think Poopy might actually be the mini-me...but only time will tell. I think the bottom line is that nurture thing is pretty strong, and they just watch and pick up on everything you do....crap.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 9/14/2006 05:29:00 AM  

  • Oh you're not moody at all and neither is Pukey ;).
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 9/14/2006 07:42:00 AM  

  • Ok, the strangest line is that post is that you don't have many mirrors because you don't want to get distracted by your reflection. What??
    posted by Blogger The Wiz at 9/14/2006 09:27:00 AM  

  • you know, like constantly picking my nose, checking if my butt looks fat. And....when you have mirrors around like in a dressing room, you tend to check yourself out and sometimes even talk to people through the mirror which bugs the crap out of me.

    not distracted like the evil Queen in Snow White where I would just want to gaze at myself all day...I just don't want to self criticize all day....maybe I should change my outfit, maybe I should do my hair today, maybe I should put makeup on....none of that really matters, so why create opportunites to even think about that?

    does that make sense?

    I guess one reason to have a lot of mirrors would be to make a room look bigger.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 9/14/2006 11:01:00 AM  

  • ps. wiz, are you calling me strange?
    posted by Blogger Kage at 9/14/2006 11:02:00 AM  

  • That line about the mirrors is pretty funny
    posted by Blogger chloe at 9/14/2006 01:42:00 PM  

  • I wonder if people who work with a lot of toddlers, like preschool teachers, could be given a group of kids and then successfully identify the kids' parents without being told beforehand who belongs to who.
    posted by Anonymous Susan M at 9/14/2006 02:20:00 PM  

  • Oooooh- interesting idea, Susan!! I'll bet they could, in a lot of cases!
    posted by Anonymous tracy m at 9/14/2006 04:00:00 PM  

  • Ahhh...until daughter #2 comes out and looks NOTHING like you. Okay, I mean, well, it happened to me. I have had so many surprised looks when I tell people that #2 is mine. #1? No quesiton. #2 --is she adopted?
    Rude question, either way...
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 9/14/2006 06:13:00 PM  

  • cheryl-
    I'm totally with you. My first looks nothing like me. She's a clone of my MIL. Which is a little creppy, but I love her anyway.:) People used to ask me all the time if she was my niece. (when I only had one)

    My second - she's a CLONE of me. which is also a little creepy, but I love her anyway.:) Nobody asks on that one.

    kage - yes, you are strange, but I love you anyway - I just got this image of you trying to get your kids out of the house, in a hurry,but WAIT, there's a MIRROR - must...look...can't..stop..myself..OH NO!!!!Two hours gone! Yes, I am easily amused.
    posted by Blogger The Wiz at 9/14/2006 08:26:00 PM  

  • I think Susan M was intimating more on behavior and mannerisms rather than on looks...

    But i'm just assuming...
    posted by Anonymous tracy m at 9/14/2006 10:31:00 PM  

  • Oh...yeah, I didn't think of that. Yeah, that makes sense. Mannerisms...more along the lines of what kage was talking about anyways...right?
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 9/15/2006 06:31:00 PM  

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