Never Say Never

This is the year I turned the big 3-0. I always figured that by the time I turned 30, I would know pretty much everything, have my life running smoothly and be close to perfection. But if I’ve learned anything in my ripe old age, it’s that I don’t know much. As I reflect back on life, one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is to never say never. Here are a few of the things I said I would never do:

1. Saying no to sex. Let’s face it, getting married in the temple is a difficult endeavor. When you’re engaged, sexual temptation is exciting. It is inconceivable to think that as a married person you might not be as excited about sex. Then you’re married and one day it happens. You don’t have a headache as an excuse, but you wish that you did. And you wonder, “What happened to that frisky girl of my pre-married life?”

2. Regret quitting piano lessons. My mom quit taking piano lessons when she was 11. I quit at 12. She told me I would regret it someday. I knew everything as a teenager and I knew I would never regret it. I would forever love the boy who stole my attention. And now I can’t even remember his name.

3. Breastfeed in public locations. I served a mission in Guatemala. My first Sunday, a woman stood to share her testimony while breastfeeding her 4 year old son. He was huge and her boob was pulled out over the top of her dress, fully exposed. The whole picture was appalling. I swore that even discreetly I would never breastfeed in public. 2 months after having my first child, I indiscreetly nursed him at the top of the Empire State Building.

4. Spanking the child. Can anyone really say they’ve never swatted their child on the behind? My son is still in diapers, so it’s not painful to him and I can count on one hand the times I’ve done it. But I swear it’s instinctive for me because I was spanked by my parents. I was not traumatized by it and it may actually have worked.

5. Losing your child in public. How easy is it “pre-children” to think parents who lose their children in public places are completely irresponsible? We celebrated my son’s second birthday party at a public park in NY. My husband and I were both there. Just when I realized I couldn’t see him anywhere, a nice lady comes walking my sobbing son over to our table and asks if we know this little boy. She reminds us that the week before there had been an attempted kidnapping at that exact park. Great. I still have nightmares.

6. Getting a boob job. Who in their worldly, materialistic mind would want one of these? Maybe me. SO many of my friends and family, especially in Utah, have them and I used to have mixed feelings about it. Until I had 2 children. Now I think that I might feel better spiritually if I’m happy physically. A friend recently told me “Every good husband owes his wife a boob job and tummy tuck after they’re done having babies.” I couldn’t agree more.

7. Be fat. I swore I’d have my baby fat gone by 2 or 3 months. Never lost all of it after the first and I don’t feel that guilty after the second either. I know I’ll get around to losing it eventually.

8. Digress spiritually. We’ve all heard it. If you aren’t progressing, you’re digressing. It’s harder than I ever thought it would be to keep up with the basics-daily scriptures, FHE, fervent prayers…I’m lucky to keep myself stagnant.

9. Let my kid watch too much TV. I do try to limit, but there are days when he watches way too much. Especially with the Tivo. Now I can record programs I think are educational and play 45 of them back to back so I can actually accomplish something and not feel SOO guilty about it.

10. Be a working mom. My mom was a working mom and I swore that I would never do it. She had to support the family for much of my childhood and I never really saw her. When I did she was tired and irritable. I strive to be a good stay at home mom and I’m grateful I don’t have the burden of supporting the family. But it’s a tough and often thankless job. I, like many of my friends and neighbors, look for ways outside of the home to use my talents, find a little self-worth and maybe even make some extra cash while doing it.