I Had to Go to Bosnia to Get Pregnant

Well not exactly, but I’m convinced that if I hadn’t spent a year and a half outside of the US, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.

Upon returning to the US from Eastern Europe, I have been blown away at how fast-paced life is here. I knew it was fast when I lived here before, but I was used to it, handled it well, perhaps even thrived in it. But now that I’ve lived differently—in a world where buying a few vegetables at the market on the way home from work is the extent of our “errands” for the week—I’ve decided I don’t like the break-neck speed at which we Americans conduct our business and our daily lives.

And I have my body’s reaction to the two different lifestyles as evidence of the detrimental effects of this frenzied pace we keep here in the US.


Without going into too much detail, Dh and I tried to get pregnant for a while before actually succeeding. I have always had a very irregular period (went six months during my mission without it—heaven!), and when we felt the time was right to “start a family,” I went through a whole bunch of tests to figure out why my periods were so irregular. Everything looked normal in my blood work, etc. But my periods were still coming at extremely random intervals (between several weeks and several months).

And then we moved to Bosnia, where life slowed down—considerably. I taught a few classes during the afternoons and evenings at Sarajevo University, attended the occasional embassy function, joined the international women’s club, took up yoga, and fulfilled all church responsibilities within a few hours a week (since Church met in our living room for an hour only and consisted of dh, me, and between 2–5 other members). I spent most evenings reading, scrapbooking, playing violin, watching TV with dh, or just relaxing.

At first, this slow pace drove me crazy. I was used going, going, going all the time. In NY, I taught high school full-time (preparing for 5 different classes and 160+ students a day), held extremely time-consuming callings at church, completed my Master’s degree, and attended EVERY church function held. I had become so accustomed to this fast-paced life, that when we got to Bosnia, I felt like I was wasting my time, being lazy, squandering my talents—perhaps even “sinning” a little by not being “anxiously engaged.”

But wouldn’t you know it, my periods regulated themselves. After just a month of this slower life, my period started coming with in a 28–32-day range, every month. I could actually chart them and tell where I was in my cycle, they become so regular. It was obvious that my body was relaxing, even healing, and responding extremely well to this new stress-free life. It still took almost a year to get pregnant, but I am absolutely convinced that it wouldn’t have happened without medical intervention, if I had kept up the crazy life-style I was living in NY.

Now that I’m back in this overly-demanding world, I don’t like it. I can feel my body tensing up, becoming stressed. I can tell that I’m not as healthy and strong because I’m pushing myself more than I should. And yet, everything and everyone around me demands it: work, church, family, society—this blog! =)

So here’ the eternal question: how do we keep up with the worthwhile commitments we make (to work, church, family, etc.), but still maintain our health and sanity?

I have, for the first time in my life, found myself saying “no” to people’s invitations and needs. It’s something I NEVER would have done in my pre-living-outside-the-US life, but I’m finding that it’s absolutely necessary, because I value the well-being of my body—especially now that it has a baby inside it—too much. And I feel so much better when I’m not stressed out all the time!