17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
On a Lighter Note
If you haven't noticed yet, our header has changed. There is one baby in utero and that uterus happens to be mine.
It been a crazy last three months in our family with the buying of our first home, a burglary and a move to a new city. The good thing about all the craziness is that it made the first trimester and all it's yuckiness blow by rather quickly. Would I choose to be pregnant again during a move? Oh no, that was really poor timing, but now that I am standing on the other side, I am ecstatic that another little person is coming to join our family. Well, except for the fact that I have a terrible cough right now and a bladder that is not as strong as it used to be and I am getting tired of having to change my pants.
Anyway, I'm also a little nervous. I thought having a second child was a big leap but the thought of having three brings a whole new set of logistical concerns, including but not limited to:
-Our children will now outnumber us - the parents.
-My kids will now outnumber their mother's hands.
-There will now be a "middle child".
-We are quite likely going to lose our extra-come-visit-us-because-we-live-close-to-Disneyland-room to a nursery/bedroom especially if the little one turns out to be a boy (so come visit us quick everyone!).
Anyone else out there have any thoughts on three? I'd love to hear them.
It been a crazy last three months in our family with the buying of our first home, a burglary and a move to a new city. The good thing about all the craziness is that it made the first trimester and all it's yuckiness blow by rather quickly. Would I choose to be pregnant again during a move? Oh no, that was really poor timing, but now that I am standing on the other side, I am ecstatic that another little person is coming to join our family. Well, except for the fact that I have a terrible cough right now and a bladder that is not as strong as it used to be and I am getting tired of having to change my pants.
Anyway, I'm also a little nervous. I thought having a second child was a big leap but the thought of having three brings a whole new set of logistical concerns, including but not limited to:
-Our children will now outnumber us - the parents.
-My kids will now outnumber their mother's hands.
-There will now be a "middle child".
-We are quite likely going to lose our extra-come-visit-us-because-we-live-close-to-Disneyland-room to a nursery/bedroom especially if the little one turns out to be a boy (so come visit us quick everyone!).
Anyone else out there have any thoughts on three? I'd love to hear them.
24 Comments:
Sorry, I don't have any thoughts on three kids (except I know you'll do great...), but I can relate to the weak bladder and cough problem...I had a cough through my entire second pregnancy and actually resorted to bringing changes of clothes on the days that I was at work....it was HORRIBLE!!!
posted by Jen at 10/09/2007 09:36:00 AM
shortly after my mom started trying for her 3rd (me) she found out that they would be moving from NoCal to SoCal. she immediately stopped trying because she did not want to be pregnant and move at the same time. but it was too late. i was already settled into her womb.
btw, i love your concerns. they are so practical and ones i hadn't thought of (children outnumbering the parents and the number of hands you have).
posted by brenbot at 10/09/2007 09:49:00 AM
Ohhhhh......CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YAAYYYY FOR BABIES!!!!!!!!
I had the exact same concerns when I was pregnant with my third. How on earth was I going to handle it????
Answer: You just do. You do, because you have to.
The fact that my third child was the easiest baby ever helped quite a bit. I was convinced that I would never be able to leave the house (how can I pack up 3 kids on my own???) but somehow we did it.
And your older kids learn to be more independent, and you love that, and all is right with the world.
You'll be great, and it's exciting, and I hope you have a boy if you want, or a girl if you want, and most of all, I hope it's a good sleeper.
posted by The Wiz at 10/09/2007 10:07:00 AM
Congrats Carrie! How exciting! My thoughts on 3 - for me, moving from 2 kids to 3 was by far the hardest adjustment. Adding number 4 was a breeze in comparison. :) And number 5 arriving in a few months doesn't scare me one bit. You'll do great though! My advice is look out for your second born. I know at our house, she had the hardest time and needed more than I gave her. (It didn't help that baby brother arrived 10 months after her - sorry baby girl!) Congrats again. A family of FIVE! That's awesome!
posted by rebecca at 10/09/2007 10:17:00 AM
I WONDERED who had the bun in the oven! Congratulations and YAY!
Yup, ditto what Wiz said. You don't know how, but you'll manage to do it. As one who relatively recently added the third, it's fresh in my few remaining brain cells.
It is harder. They do outnumber you, and you will not always be able to give the attention that you had with just one or two- but it also has blessing in store too.
The family gets more boisterous, roles change, and you might find yourself feeling spread pretty thin sometimes, but having three churubic faces to kiss at night sure is a sweet thing.
My third is the most easygoing child- I don't know if it's because she had to be or what, but she has been a Godsend.
May yours be as well.
posted by tracy m at 10/09/2007 10:28:00 AM
I'm surprised there's only one baby in utero! With so many women being pregnant now. Watch out, other Tales ladies. It's catching!!
Congrats, carrie! I don't have any advice about 3 kids, though, since I'm only expecting my first.
posted by Erin Marie at 10/09/2007 11:54:00 AM
I ditto what's already been said. I honestly still think one was harder than three. By three, it's like "Sweet! I've done this twice -I know I can do it!"
btw- when we moved from UT to CA last year, #4 was 3 weeks old right when we finished packing and made the trek. I still wish I had been pregnant instead! :)
posted by Cheryl at 10/09/2007 02:55:00 PM
When I was pregnant with my second I would pee my pants every time I threw up (which was constantly!). I was terrified that I'd have to puke while I was in public and then have wet pants as well! I better start working on those muscles before I try for a third.
posted by Ashley at 10/09/2007 03:06:00 PM
Congrats Carrie, I'm very excited for you. And I (as a mom of 1) have no advice on the 3 thing. :-) Sorry!
Just a note though for the "peeing when _________" (sneezing, coughing, laughing, jumping, vomiting, etc.) problem - my local hospital has a woman's health division that has all kinds of classes (from infant/child CPR to Tai Chi) and one of them is a kegel exercise class! So for those of you who may need a little strengthening, check and see if that's something that your local women's health group might be able to help you with!
posted by marian at 10/09/2007 04:09:00 PM
Congrats. I hate kegals.
I love kids...
3 Whesh....if anyone can do it, it's you.
Hey, you have Sugz to help.
posted by Kage at 10/09/2007 05:58:00 PM
I have great sympathy for the moving while pregnant thing. This pregnancy is the first that won't have a major move in it. I moved while 3 months pregnant with the first and when 8.5 months pregnant with the second. Unfortunately I got pregnant just a month after the latest move, and a couple months later we still have way too many boxes.
As for the handling 3 thing, I worry about the same things. Especially them outnumbering the parents and not having 3 hands/arms. That and only having 2 seats in the stroller. Not that the oldest won't be old enough to walk (he'll be 3.5), but he's the one who actually likes to go in the stroller, and he's autistic, so change is hard. I don't know if we'll leave the house for a while. Especially since it will mean 3 car seats across the back seat, which is just hard.
Anyway, sorry I don't have any good advice -- just sympathy. Good luck!
posted by Anonymous at 10/09/2007 08:38:00 PM
Carrie, whatever you do, do not go read this post at MMW, from right after Abby was born.
http://mommywars.blogspot.com/2006/06/how-was-your-day-dear.html
posted by tracy m at 10/09/2007 09:17:00 PM
3 was BY FAR the hardest baby adjustment for me. Of course, it didn't help that she was sick, diagnosed w/ a lifetime illness and had heart surgery @ 5 weeks old, BUT... without all that, I still think it would have been the hardest. You're right, you are outnumbered, outhanded, and sometimes outwitted by #'s 1 & 2!!
So... prepare for the worst, and hope for better! I am sure you'll do great-- you are an amazing mom! But just give yourself a break if you feel like rocking in a corner (cuz you will!) and don't be too hard on yourself. If it helps, #4 was a breeze, my easiest kid yet and #5 is on his way here soon... I wonder if we'll even notice he's around! These later kids just sort of have to blend in and go with the flow! It's all fun! Good luck!!!
p.s. Kegels haven't ever worked for me... still peeing all the time- the trampoline-- forget about it kids!
posted by Jules at 10/10/2007 06:39:00 AM
Vada,
Congrats on your pregnancy! How are you doing with everything? I wanted to email you, but can't for the life of me find your email address....email me (jrazz22ataol.com) if you want to talk...or vent.
posted by Jen at 10/10/2007 09:47:00 AM
Thanks for all the well wishes everyone and the advice and support from all the mom's out there with three already.
Marian-last time I was at the OB/GYN (like a year ago), she was totally impresses with my "woman muscle" strength. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel good.
tracy m - you can't say don't read this post and then post the link. Of course, I had to read it.
Vada- congrats to you too!
posted by This is Carrie at 10/10/2007 10:27:00 AM
Congratulations! I don't think that you have anything to worry about. I had my third when my husband was in Iraq and therefore had to handle three kiddos solo. I thought that it was a pretty easy and smooth transition (well, besides the sleep deprivation).
Carrie, You already have two. You know how to feed, clothe, soothe, and love your kids. So you don't have the ifs and questions like you did the first time around.
It is just more work-more laundry, more cleaning, more feeding, etc. And at leat for the first few months, the baby sleeps so much that you can focus a lot on your two big kids so they won't feel overlooked.
One more thing, my daughters have been amazing with the baby. They go out of their way to help and feel so honored when I let them take care of the baby. And since my oldest will soon be five, she is pretty independent and doesn't have to be watched so much. I dont' know the ages of your kids but hopefully they will be somewhat independent before the baby arrives.
So don't worry-it's going to be great!!!
posted by Ryann at 10/10/2007 10:32:00 AM
OH, congrats! I can't relate to three, but I can relate to peeing all the time. Kegels, baby. Well, they work in theory, anyway.
posted by Heather O. at 10/10/2007 11:13:00 AM
[snicker snicker] "woman muscle" [snicker snicker, hee hee hee]
posted by marian at 10/10/2007 12:45:00 PM
Marian, I TOTALLY had the same reaction to the woman muscle. He he he.
But Carrie, I'm so impressed ....
posted by Sara at 10/10/2007 09:32:00 PM
Congrats!! No advice here since I am still unbalanced from #2, 10 months ago. But I am sure you will do great.
posted by Elise at 10/10/2007 10:32:00 PM
Having three just means you switch from a man-to-man defense to the zone defense. It's an adjustment, but I thought going from one to two was harder.
posted by Anonymous at 10/11/2007 10:25:00 PM
Hey Carrie--I figure any # of kids is tough as long as one of them is a baby! So, three will maybe only through you for a loop the first year. :) Now that Eliza is nearing 2 years, boy, we are having fun! Really--it's great. The kids have fun together, Abby plays with Eliza, "reads" to her, etc. Andrew and Abby play make-believe stuff all the time--they are great friends. Three is a pleasure (now that we all sleep all night long). I'm so happy for you and I know you will do great and the girls will have so much fun with the baby. And Princess is old enough to help in lots of little ways. Happy babying!
posted by Katie at 10/13/2007 08:27:00 AM
Congratulations. Three is so nice in many ways.
posted by Anonymous at 10/16/2007 12:22:00 PM
I have the same philosophy with animals. What's three when you have two? What's four when you have three? I am pretty sure that you will do just fine! You are the BEST mother ever!
He he.
posted by Kelly at 10/16/2007 03:25:00 PM
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