17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Day 3 of Kindergarten

Dear Teacher,

Thanks so much for dealing with my daughter today. You looked super cute, even if those heels weren't ideal for carrying a large child up 5 flights! YIKES.

We took Pukey to the doctor and she appears to be fine. Her "pain" escalates quite a bit in my presence. Her doctor suggested that sometimes a cold or a virus can (he used a fancy medical term here) sort of group in the hip area, and to watch her for fever or other symptoms. I doubt this is happening.

I personally feel that her behavior today was a combination of a small bit of pain (growing pains/charlie horses at night), EXHAUSTION, change, adjustment, anxiety that she is not talking about but manifesting in physical symptoms, and who knows what else. The doctor suggested we keep her home tomorrow, so we will.

I think you did the right thing today by not encouraging her behavior, and I hope that we can nip this in the bud. I feel bad for her either way: Whether it is real pain or just her way of coping with change, and I am hoping to be here for her as best I can.

On another note, I saw the pictures that they drew, displayed on the bulletin board outside your room...so cute....and while we were waiting for the doctor this afternoon she showed me the sign language for pink, red, green and black.

Thanks so much for helping this little girl who is so special to me, find her way in this new, wild world.

[She ended up going to school on Day 4, and according to the teacher, did fine. However, when I picked her up, she was crying and limping again. She went home and went straight to sleep at her request, and later was caught doing jumping jacks and dancing in between the limping. I have never seen this fake injury coping mechanism for change and transition. I am trying to validate the cause behind it, but not the "injury" itself. I could use some advice from ya'll about this phenomenon. And this concludes a week of Kage posts...who knew school would provide so much fodder?]


  • You are not alone!

    We are on day 5 of kindergarten. My girl says she can't go to school anymore because she is too tired to walk to her desk. She also feels the need to hit everyone in her class??? She swears they all like it. (she is not a "hitter" at home, or in the previous 2 years of preschool)
    I am hoping it all fades away when she is a little more comfortable with being is school all day.
    I think she is wishing she could get "evicted", as she puts it. She says that you can get evicted from school for hitting and that you won't have to go anymore.

    Does Pukey say she likes school, or does her hip hurt at the thought of picking up a crayon?
    posted by Blogger theabby at 9/07/2007 04:23:00 PM  

  • This post makes me laugh because I hated kindergarten in a bad way. I was in a huge power struggle with my teacher. She would not let me sit at my desk without removing my jacket and backpack. As a result I would spend most of my days standing at the door until I got so hot that I took my coat off and sat down. The teacher was positive I was not ready for the real world. At any rate I'm totally normal now!!

    Take solace in the fact that (a) you seem to have a good teacher, (b) most children go through this to some degree, and (c) this does not reflect poorly on your child.

    Fortunately we are not who we were in kindergarten. Even hating my teacher/standing at the door, I still learned everything I needed to.

    Good luck! I anticipate having similar experiences in 3 years when my dd starts school!!
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 9/07/2007 07:48:00 PM  

  • theabby, she loves school. She talks about it and gets really enthusiastic and in her school world, and then when it's time to walk, she snaps back into her limp-mode. Nutty.

    She told me her friend at school said: Why are you still walking funny if it doesn't hurt?

    My sentiments EXACTLY....I should call that friend and tell her to keep it up!
    posted by Blogger Kage at 9/08/2007 05:08:00 AM  

  • This happened to my nephew. He wouldn't be able to walk in school, literally crawling to the car because his legs felt 'cracked.' Serious pain, here. Then drive him to a b-day party and voila! He's off and running.

    It was not fake pain. He was not pretending, he literally was hurting. The doc said it was stress, and it turned out the K teacher was stressing all the stuff he had to do to get to first grade, and he was scared he wouldn't get there, and his fear/stress manifested in his legs not working. She lightened up, and he was fine.

    And so, your daughter might be overwhelmed at all the stuff she has to do at school now that she didn't before. She is probably internalizing the rules, and feeling like it's too much, and if she messes up AT ALL, she's ruined for life. Kids take some simple stuff very seriously some times. I bet it really hurts when she gets there. She's scares she'll mess up or something.

    If I hadn't seen this happen to my nephew, I would say she is pretending (and maybe she is, who knows). But she really could be in pain. Stress can do that, even to little kids.
    posted by Anonymous the wiz at 9/08/2007 08:24:00 PM  

  • If Abby's upset at night she will suddenly complain that her leg hurts. Real physical pain or not, I know she's in emotional pain so it's a real sign to give her extra loves...and get her into bed. (and try not to roll my eyes and say "oh brother"). I hope pukey feels better about school soon, she's such a sweetie.
    posted by Blogger Katie at 9/09/2007 08:01:00 PM  

  • Ah, yes, both of my kids did this. I just can't figure out why. . .I threw up probably every DAY of kindergarten. The nurse knew my phone number by heart.

    I think it's probably just what you said, change, exhaustion, missing mom, it's hard for these guys.

    The one thing that helped with both of my kids was to take a little picture of the family with them to school. You could even get a cute little keychain for her bag, or that she could clip on her belt loop. I think my kids just ended up folding one and having it in their pocket. . just in case they needed to look at it. I did check with the teacher to make sure that it wasn't disruptive, but it seemed to do the trick.

    I'd say, give her some time and a little extra love, and she'll figure it all out.
    posted by Blogger wendysue at 9/10/2007 03:18:00 PM  

  • I don't REMEMBER kindergarten.
    posted by Blogger sunny at 9/10/2007 10:16:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home