17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Friday, May 19, 2006

The Reality of Birth

Now that all the other expectant Tales moms have given birth, I feel like I can admit that I am not looking forward to the labor and delivery of my third child. I feel very nervous this time around about the birth. You would think that having done this twice before it would be easy, but I am more reluctant about this one then the first two.

I didn’t know what to expect with my first child, so I didn’t know what to fear. His birth was with a midwife in a birth center in Manhattan. It was very fast, very intense and all natural. Everything went well, but I felt out of control because it was so fast, I wasn’t effective at pushing, totally forgot Lamaze and hyperventilated.

When my daughter was born, I was looking forward to the birth. I had a better plan and was excited to try it out. I practiced hypno-birthing techniques to stay relaxed, used a breathing technique that really worked, utilized gravity to help push, and was much more in control and effective. This second birth was also with a midwife in a birth center in Manhattan. It was all natural, fast, I only pushed for half and hour and I was happy with how it went. Both were amazing and wonderful and natural.

The problem is, I feel like that is the best it can get, and while she was crowning I said to myself “I feel like I am going to die.” While time has softened my memory about what it felt like, that phrase has stuck with me. And this time I don’t have any better techniques to try out. I am faced with the reality that giving birth hurts.

I decided that this time I would try technology to see how it compares. I considered getting an epidural but I have heard too many friends tell me of complications and side effects that I am not willing to chance it. I don’t want to change a good thing and add unnecessary intervention that will make this labor and delivery not go as smoothly. My midwife told me that I could get a local anesthesia just to numb the perineum that would help with the delivery part, and I am considering it, but I am still nervous to try something that could lead to a series of chain reactions.

I feel like I should stick with what has worked before. I know and hope that this birth—with a midwife in a beautiful birth center in Vail, will be as great as my first two. I just know what to expect this time and know that when it comes down to it, it will hurt and frankly I am not looking forward to that.


  • Hi Brandolyn,

    I just gave birth to my third about three weeks ago, and this was my first natural birth. Both of my boys, 2 and 4, were born with epidurals. #3 came so fast, there wasn't time.

    Now that I have done it both ways, I can see that both ways have their good points and their bad points. It seems people are so often militant about one way or the other. Birth is a miracle, wheather you feel everything, or if you are comfortabley numb.

    With my daughter, going natural was not the plan, but it happened, and I'm glad I experienced it. There was a certain amount of power and awe in feeling everything my body was going through, but I was also not as "present" for her birth as I was for both my boys. I was so caught up in the intensity of what was happening- not good or bad, just how it was.

    For my boys, I had perfect epidurals- timed well, and very effective. I still felt all my contractions as well as the desire to push, only the edge was taken off. I could still move my legs and feel my feet, and did not need catheterization. Epidurals are much better than they were even ten years ago... And, I was emotionally "present" when they were born, clear, alert and not in pain.

    As someone who recently was there, and has now experienced both ways, I can honestly say neither is right or wrong- just different. If you are stressed about pain, maybe try the epi- you already know stress makes realxing and coping with birth even more difficult, so maybe a little relief might not be so bad this time. You can always tell them to turn it off if you don't like it.

    I guess, as a relative stranger 1000 miles away, I just want to encourage you not to feel bad or guilty about whatever method you choose. Talk to your MW about your worries regarding complications- I think they are much less than they used to be. Either way, the goal is a healthy baby. Good luck!
    posted by Blogger Tracy M at 5/18/2006 10:28:00 PM  

  • Go for the local anesthesia. I had a really quick birth which resulted in both an episiotomy and 3rd degree lascerations but I didn't feel either (until later) because of the local anesthesia. I felt the contractions, and the pressure, but not the pain that is specific to perineum and crowning.
    posted by Blogger Starfoxy at 5/18/2006 10:54:00 PM  

  • starfoxy, do you think that if you had not been anesthetized, and could FEEL the pain in your perineum, that you might have pushed differently and NOT had the 3rd degree lacerations?

    I feel that was the diff. for me b/n epidural and not. I pushed through the pain w/epidural and had stitches, and did not push through pain without an epidural and did not tear.

    Makes recovery so much better.

    As far as emotional presence, I felt like both with and without epidural, it is such a physical experience, the emotionals take a temporary backseat, and it is just about getting the baby out. I was actually surprised both times at the lack of spirituality/emotion involved. But that all flooded in later.

    Brandolyn-you know how I feel about this....go 3 for 3. And your third will probably be the easiest and fastest yet.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 5/19/2006 05:20:00 AM  

  • like tracy m, my first 2 were with epidurals and my last was unmedicated.

    I'm never going back to the epidural. And oh, man, did it hurt! It was the hardest thing I ever did emotionally, mentally, and physically. But I think that's why I loved it so much.

    But like tracy m said --it doesn't matter what you choose to do, as long as you are at peace with the choice. Childbirth is not supposed to be easy. If it was, I doubt we would appreciate our children as much as we do...
    posted by Blogger Cheryl at 5/19/2006 06:26:00 AM  

  • I'm still a bit scared to get pregnant with #3. I had epidurals with both my babies. I wanted to go without drugs both times but, well, it just didn't work out. My experience both times was that the epi *totally* numbed me out and I hated that feeling. It made me really itchy too, for a few hours the 2nd time. The second time I got my epi by my own choice (first time I was kind of coerced into having one) and I think having it helped me relax and achieve the VBAC I desperately wanted but I still want to have the experience of feeling my baby be born.

    I do appreciate reading about your experiences and how the intensity of birth can make you feel less "present."
    posted by Blogger Vicki at 5/19/2006 06:29:00 AM  

  • I have birthed all my babies at home, no drugs, no technology. I can't attest for a medicated birth but I can say that birth, though intense, is very powerful and even if it is a tough, hard, painful birth, which is sometimes can be, the most important thing is mental preparation. I would suggest you look into hypnobirthing.

    Personally the afterbirth pains were worse for me, with number 3. That I plan on using homoepathy for, next time. I love giving birth.
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/19/2006 08:09:00 AM  

  • It sounds to me like you've already made your decision (to go natural) but you're just more scared this time because you know from experience how much it really does hurt.

    But, you also know from experience that you can do it. I think your big challenge here is not letting your anticipation of the pain make it worse than it has to be. I know it's strange advice, but just don't think about it! You know what works for you (but be open to change should circumstances change during or before delivery). Every birth is different, even for the same woman, that's one of the great things about it.

    Also, it's not like you have a choice about whether or not to give birth here...you can't stay pregnant forever, nor would you want to!
    posted by Blogger The Wiz at 5/19/2006 08:32:00 AM  

  • I've done it both ways and I would have to say by my experience the natural way was the way to go. With #1 I was induced (past my due date) and I wasn't anticipating all that comes with being induced. I was very tense and could not relax so they said an epidural would help relax me and progress me more. In the end it did help me to relax (doctor said I might have to resort to C-section since I had been dilated to a 4 for almost 12 hours), though the process of getting an epi was not fun either. After delivery I was very sick and didn't want to even touch my food. I also ended up tearing a little bit (though my DD was 9lbs 8oz). With DD #2 I was 3 1/2 weeks early and almost didn't even make it to the hospital. Water broke on the way in the car so there wasn't time for anything! The pushing was painful, but it was bearable. The recovery was 100% better than after DD#1 and I'm convinced it was the epdiural probably a little of being induced. I'm going to shoot for au natural for the next one!
    posted by Blogger ReeSesPcS at 5/19/2006 09:39:00 AM  

  • Kage, I doubt that any I could have done would have prevented the tearing. My birth was really quick. Like 10 minutes of pushing after an hour or so of labor. I think I would have torn no matter what, even if I didn't do any pushing at all. It may not have been so severe without the anesthesia, but it would have been *way* longer and *way* more unpleasant.
    posted by Blogger Starfoxy at 5/19/2006 09:46:00 AM  

  • Just to illustrate what the Wiz said, about all births being different:

    With both my Epi's, I didn't tear AT ALL, but with my natural baby, I tore 2nd degree, because like Starfoxy, it was over in about 10 minutes- super fast, no time to stretch.

    Whaterya gonna do??
    posted by Blogger Tracy M at 5/19/2006 10:16:00 AM  

  • Before I read the comments, I am going to pipe in and give my thoughts.

    There are two main groups of women that talk about epidurals in my opinion. First, the ones who think that you shouldn't have a epidural, no matter what. And they try to convert you to their way of thinking. They emphasize all the things that can go wrong (the risk side of the equation). They also talk about it a natural childbirth as part of the the way real women give birth.

    The second group of women have had an bad experience with an epidural, and they talk about it.

    I am neither of these women. I have had two very successful births with an epidural, and I wouldn't change it at all. I could feel enough to push, I didn't have problems bonding with my new baby or breastfeeding right away, I didn't feel the hole in my back where the needle had entered every time it rained, I recovered quickly and felt good relatively soon after child birth (all arguments people have used to try to persuade me not to have an epidural.)

    I think that you don't hear about good epidurals because they're not much exciting to say about them. But I also think that, at least for me, there's somewhat of a stigma attached to it. LIke maybe I am not a "real woman" because I didn't endure the pain. When we moved to NYC and everyone talked all about their midwives and natural births, I didn't say much, because I like ob/gyns, I like hospitals, and I like pain management. I am a firm believer in medical technology and am perfectly willing to avail myself of it for a more comfortable birth. Epidural technology has advanced in the last decade and is very precise--you will not receive a standard dosage that will just knock you out and leave your legs like jello for days afterwards.

    I don't have a problem with those who choose a different birth experience than I do. But I do have a problem if information is presented in a distorted and misleading fashion to try to get women to choose one option over another. Birth is full of risks, no matter what way the baby comes, and each women has to decide for herself, given her feelings and the risks, what will be her way of bringing a baby into the world.
    posted by Blogger Michelle at 5/19/2006 10:59:00 AM  

  • A few months back at T&S, Julie Smith blogged about choosing to have elective c-sections. It's interesting to read, with lots of comments.

    posted by Blogger Michelle at 5/19/2006 11:02:00 AM  

  • For me.....my 3 epirdurals were much more enjoyable than my 1 natural, planned, thoughtout, "mentally" prepared birth. I found no difference with recovery at all. I just felt much more in control with the epi's. 2 of them left me still feeling, but not in pain. One did numb me too much, but I still loved it! It's great because it's a bonding time for me and DH....we can actually have some conversations before adding our new little family member. My mom thinks I'm crazy as she delievered SEVEN including twins without any meds. Variety is the spice of life, I guess :)
    posted by Anonymous cali at 5/19/2006 11:07:00 AM  

  • Michelle.....you go girl! You summed it up perfect. You must have published while I was still typing. It's so true. Thanks for being so honest.
    posted by Anonymous cali at 5/19/2006 11:13:00 AM  

  • I am the mother of three girls, all deliveries were unmedicated. I went through the same things before baby #3. I was terrified. I have a great friend who is a childbirth educator and she helped me work through my fear. She also did a review class for me and my husband a couple weeks before the baby, just so I could refresh my memory.
    With all three girls, I was really dilligent in practising my relaxation techniques (breathing, exercises to stretch the back and pelvic area, mental imagery etc.) I would put together a CD of music and listen to it while I practiced. It seemed to help a lot as well.
    When the day came for baby number 3, I actually could tell I was in labor, but I thought it would be a day or two before anything really happened. My doctor sent me to the hospital which threw me for a loop, but it all worked out great.
    I had a nurse who was also a midwife and she got me set up in a labor tub. It took so much of the pressure off the contractions. By the time I got out of the tub I was at a 6. I had the baby about an hour and half later.
    That last hour and half, well, let's just say I wasn't that relaxed, but I knew it was almost over and I was going to feel so good when it was done. That gave me the encouragement I needed.
    So that was a really long way of saying, hang in there. Work through your fear and get prepared. I believe there is a scripture in D&C that says, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear."
    And overall, I agree with everyone who says that the big picture here is healthy baby and healthy mom.

    Best of luck!
    posted by Anonymous Joy at 5/19/2006 11:42:00 AM  

  • By mental preparation, I concur with the "working through your fears". The most important aspect truly is how you percieve the birth. I know women who hate to give birth and their births, according to them are awful. I know women who would birth the way I do, and hate it. I have chosen to birth the way I do, and to not hate the process (as intense as it can be, and yes, sometimes painful) but what makes the difference is how much fear I have or not.

    Everyone has this choice. You can't change what DOES happen, you can only change your reponse to it. You don't have to love it, but you can still have a wonderful experience and a wonderful baby at the end. I still say afterpains are worse, oy vey.

    This is what I teach in my childbirth classes too, and so far, the positive birth experiences outnumber the negative 10 to 1, so...
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/19/2006 02:06:00 PM  

  • Tracy M- I know what you mean about not being there mentally because you are distracted with pain. That is how I felt with my first-I didn't even really know what was going on. The second I was much more present for, and in control, but probablly not in the same way that being pain free would be.

    Starfoxy-maybe I will do the local pain killer. It really is the pushing I don't like, I can handle the contractions fine. Sounds like your births are even faster then mine. wow.

    mary siever-I did hypnobirth with my second and my experience was much better then my first time. I was more in control and breathed better and was more effective. But I couldn't quite focus on an image that removed me from the pain. I read a book though instead of taking a class or even listening to a tape. Maybe I should practice visulation more this time.

    The Wiz-That is exactly what I am doing I think: making my anticipation of the pain psych me out. The last two times I didn't think about it at all before hand.

    Michelle, that is why I was considering an epidural this time. My first two natural births were great, but I didn't want to be missing out on this great thing. I wish I could tell before hand how it will go, because so many good friends have had wierd things happen as a result of drugs and that freaks me out.

    Joy- I definantly need to do some sort of preparing this time. I guess up till now, I have felt like I have done it before and I know how it will go and so instead of focusing on preparing and relaxing ect I have just been remembering the pain aspect. Not the best idea probablly.

    Kage, I feel good about your vote of confidence. And odds are that this one will be even easier and faster then the the first two. I have really been freaking my self out, which is so wierd that I didn't do this at all the first two times.
    posted by Blogger Brandolyn at 5/19/2006 02:58:00 PM  

  • Get the epidural! You have already proven that you can do it naturally, you should try the pain medication. I sat through almost three hours of horrible contractions and didn't dilate. Finally my doc gave me the epidural and WOW. I felt like I was immediately back in control of myself. Before, all I could concentrate on was the pain and after the epidural all I could focus on was how excited I was to have a baby. But that is me. I always thought I had high tolerance for pain, but not that kind of pain. I had no side effects. I could feel my legs but not the catheter (sp?) - thank heavens and I definitely had the urge to push. Labor and delivery was exhausting, exciting, exhilirating but not excruciating.
    I am one of those "grateful to be born in this time period because of all the wonderful developments in medicine" kind of gals. I feel the Lord has blessed man with this knowledge and I am more than happy to take advantage of it.
    Some women seem to have the attitude that if you don't go through natural birth, you are somehow less of a mother. I have heard others say it is irresponsible to have a child without a doctor, not in a hospital because of all the things that could go wrong. If you are home in the tub and an emergency c-section is neccessary, what do you do? I don't agree with either side of this dichotomy...I am in between. Whatever is right for you and your situation. But if you opt for the epidural, DON'T feel guilty. I am sure you will love your child and your birth just as much as the first two.
    posted by Blogger Melissa at 5/19/2006 03:26:00 PM  

  • I can so do the hard sell on natural birth. I have read every book, done the prep. I totally believe in it. I think there is value in experiencing it. But, it just hasn't been in the cards for me.

    Both of my birthing experiences ended with heavenly epidurals. Having that warm feeling wash over my body relieving me from the excrutiating, mind-numbing pain was a highly memorable moment of my birthing experiences in itself.

    Even with such good epidurals, I still fantasize about having a completely natural birth, even a home birth. But, I really need to stop kidding myself.

    So, Brandolyn, I can sing the praises of both methods. I have a hunch you will end up going natural because in the end, you know you can do it--you've done it before. Whatever the process I wish for you a healthy baby and a happy experience. The great thing is these outcomes lie at the end of many different roads.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 5/19/2006 03:48:00 PM  

  • Melissa said: "Finally my doc gave me the epidural and WOW. I felt like I was immediately back in control of myself."

    I had the opposite. First I got nubane, which I have read is like being drunk, and then the epidural and it was at that point that I felt a loss of all control. I just laid there asking: "Shouldn't I be doing something besides laying here?" I felt totally down and out. Then it was time to push and even then the midwife was threatening to cut if I didn't make progress etc. Funny how it's different for everyone.

    With au natural I know it was all me beginning to end and that empowerment is priceless.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 5/19/2006 05:38:00 PM  

  • "With au natural I know it was all me beginning to end and that empowerment is priceless."


    Oh you said it. This is the truth.
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/19/2006 08:52:00 PM  

  • I had an epidural and I still felt like it was "all me, beginning to end". I felt extremely empowered and totally engaged. It was the strongest I've felt in my entire life, and I think epi or no epi, I would feel the same exact way. Giving birth is empowerment to any woman no matter how she goes about it. It is funny how everyone's experience is different I guess. Just a testimony of making the right decision for yourself and praying about it. And of course hoping that the end result is healthy baby, healthy mom.
    posted by Blogger Beth at 5/20/2006 08:47:00 PM  

  • Wow, seems like everyone is trying their best to convince others that they did it the "right way". Almost a little degrading to womanhood and differences and challenges that make us tick. Bottom line, whatever "worked" for you and made you feel "empowered" is what you'll go for and claim is the best. There is no right or wrong way ladies....it's childbirth, not a fashion show! It's beautiful and miraculous no matter what.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 5/22/2006 07:30:00 AM  

  • "Wow, seems like everyone is trying their best to convince others that they did it the "right way"."


    I don't see this. I don't see anyone saying "you did it naturally, you are just so WRONG" or " you had an epidural you are so EVIL". People are sharing their personal experiences and they can be taken for what it's worth. I don't see one person here saying they are better than anyone else or someone is less correct than someone else. It's a matter of personal experiences that are being shared. For example, I can't comment on the drug route because I haven't birthed that way, ever. So my experiences are home/completely natural. Not degrading or condemning to other women, just my experiences. Women have a tendency to be very passionate about how they birth, because it IS so personal. No one can have MY experiences, no one can have someone ELSE'S experiences. They are individual and personal.

    There is nothing wrong with Kage or myself or anyone saying they felt empowered. Or anyone with an epidural saying the same thing either.

    Why are you seeing some accusatory where no accusations were meant?
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/22/2006 07:56:00 AM  

  • anon, I agree with mary siever. And I loved reading about her crazy (ok now I am degrading) at-home birthing.

    I thought it was important for me to comment b/c I have experienced a birth with and without medication, and I am expressing what I liked better. If I have a third, (which is where Brandolyn is in her life), I would vote for the natural experience. She wrote to hear stories, and we are telling them.

    As far as a fashion show, I plan on wearing some stilettos, a little prada and lip rouge when I birth my third....anyone else? ; )
    posted by Blogger Kage at 5/22/2006 08:28:00 AM  

  • Must have struck a cord there...didn't mean to. I too was expressing "opinion", sorry to get you so hyped.
    posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 5/22/2006 08:33:00 AM  

  • Anonymous,

    We were expressing experiences. But your opinion seems to be that people are being "degrading". That's the only chord I see being struck. No one was being derogatory about anyone's experiences, except perhaps yourself, though I certainly hope not. I still can't see where anyone thinks they are better than anyone else.

    Kage, LOL well, let's see when I birthed my third hmmm....fashion...I still haven't figured that out, hehe
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/22/2006 10:24:00 AM  

  • I don't feel like there is a "best" way to birth your babies. I have always wanted to have a natural childbirth and so far have had a medicated (of course) c/section and a medicated VBAC. I am of 2 minds about epidurals for me: with my 2nd birth the epi helped me relax and I was able to deliver vaginally. I'm grateful I was able to have it. However to me it is a freaky feeling. Originally we were going to have it be a lower dose but the pain was still too intense with that so they turned it up and I was totally deadened and did not feel my baby being born. My legs were dead and I was shivering and itchy for hours afterwards. Sure not everyone has this experience with an epidural; but it's what happened to me. I still want the experience of giving birth without medication.

    As far as fashion, for my VBAC I wore a t-shirt that said "It's not the size of the woman in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the woman." :D
    posted by Blogger Vicki at 5/22/2006 12:49:00 PM  

  • Vicki

    Although I haven't had an epidural, I have studied them (being a childbirth educator as well as just being a mum) and I know that the experiences women have with an epidural are so varied it's hard to say one way or another anyway. And each birth experience with an epidural can be different too. I know one woman who had three epidurals. With her first tow she had no side effects whatsoever, and with the third, she no only experienced something similar to your own, she had almsot a year of being unable to urinate without a catheter. No problems the first two times. It's hard to know why the third exhibited such a result. A different dosage maybe? Hard to say.
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/22/2006 08:38:00 PM  

  • Oh my gosh Mary. I didn't even know that was possible with an epidural. I am too scared to have one-I have definantly decided that. Any good visualization tips for hypnobirthing? I am going to really practice now and focus so I am prepared and looking forward to the birth and not dreading it. I havn't ruled out the local pain killer to help with pushing but I think my main focus will be practicing relaxing.
    posted by Blogger Brandolyn at 5/23/2006 10:10:00 AM  

  • Brandolyn--I won't add anything to the types of birthing, cuz most everything has been said. Anyway, I just totally know your fear. I had one epidural birth and two natural (in that order). I felt that sudden surge of fear and "can I really do this again!?" when the pain began with natural #2. Yikes! I said immediately after that experience that if I had one more, I would treat myself to an epidural. Just because knowing the oncoming pain (unlike the first natural experience) was scary!! But who knows...maybe the dulling memory will let me do it again...

    So, I totally relate to your fear. Boy, is it real. Best of luck with the birth and baby!! You can do it!!
    posted by Blogger Katie at 5/23/2006 11:17:00 AM  

  • Brandolyn

    Like any drug, an epidural comes with its risks and benefits. It is important to know these and then make your decision accordingly. The key is being very educated and not just taking your doctor's word, or the anesthesiologist or even your child birth educator's word for it. Remember the Anesthesiologist has a vested interest in giving you an epidrual (he gets paid for doing it). Your doctor as well. Doctors are rarely known for their patience and one of the most frustrating things for them is the lack of control in birth. They would like it to go according to their own plan. A favourite quote I have heard is " Don't push the river, it flows by itself". This really applies to birth too. Honestly it does. The common reason for interventions generally are "failure to progress", and yet birth DOES progress. The key truly, is letting it. Very rarely does birth need help (and yes, I admit there are certain times it does.) It is best to let it happen. Not easy, I know.

    Hynobirthing - I am not a hypnobirth specialist, but you can find one by going to hypnobirthing.com. As far as visualisation, you want to find what makes YOU mots peaceful, happy, content, etc, and go with that. Seriously. What you want to do is practice positive talk " My body is made to birth. My body loves giving birth, my baby is ready to come, my body is realxed, open" etc etc. Find positive words and phrases, visuals that help you feel calm, relaxed and ready to have your baby. It really makes a difference.
    posted by Blogger Mary Siever at 5/23/2006 01:52:00 PM  

  • Probably should refrain from commenting, but I feel like sharing. It really is true that every birth experience is different, and there is no "right" way. I've had two unmedicated births and two epidurals. I've also delivered about 300 babies. As a general rule, I believe most women (myself included) enjoy the process more if they have pain relief, but there are women who feel that unmedicated birth is more empowering to them. You should do what you feel is right for you, knowing that in the end, you'll have a baby and it will be worth it! I think sometimes people who have very strong feelings about this tend to exaggerate risks associated with epidurals. In reality, the idea that natural childbirth is safer doesn't seem to hold up very well when studied medically. So don't make your decision based on fear of risks!
    posted by Blogger S & J at 5/26/2006 10:36:00 PM  

  • Brandolyn, if it's not too late, I'll say this: I'm one of those women who had an epidural and experienced negative complications afterwards (you know about it--an excruciating headache because my spinal cord had been nicked). But I have to say that when I think about my next time around, I'm thinking I'll probably get the epidural. The headache was NOWHERE near as painful as labor. Nowhere. It just didn't compare. I think I'd take the headache again to get through labor, because, quite frankly, I don't think I could handle the pain without medication. For the thirty minutes that I did push under medication, I was crying almost uncontrollably, and I can't even think why right now. I was tired? I was working hard but felt I was pushing wrong? I could feel the pressure despite not feeling real pain? I'm not sure. But I'm not really embarrassed to admit that I could barely handle it. So I'm pretty certain I wouldn't be able to handle it without medication. And I don't find this shameful. I just can't tolerate pain very well. My sister gets nervous and panicky when she throws up, but she endured 15 hours of unmedicated labor and 3+ hours of pushing with tearing unmedicated. We're different women and we need different things.

    I guess I just wanted to be one woman who has had a bad experience with an epidural who, when she's really honest with herself, admits that the pain relief was still REALLY nice.
    posted by Blogger sunny at 5/27/2006 11:39:00 AM  

  • sunny, maybe next time you can eat lunch (Boston Market) 30 minutes before you hit 9 centimeters, and then, instead of crying, just puke the entire time you are pushing....like me. My husbands famous quote: "There go the green beans!"
    posted by Blogger Kage at 5/27/2006 05:30:00 PM  

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