17 different women, 36 crazy children, 0 babies in utero
Adventures, Advice and Questions from a group of Mormon women who met in Queens, NY and have now scattered all over the place.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Omniscience of Motherhood

As a small child, I remember wondering how my mom always knew everything—even when I was trying to be sneaky. Now as the mother of a three year old, I too am a member of the mom knows everything club, and it isn’t even that hard, as seen from the following conversation:

Nephi “Mom, I wouldn’t ever put a raisin in my nose”
Me: “Why are you saying that? Did Anwen (his 1 year old sister) put a raisin in her nose?”
Nephi: “No”
Me: Did you think about putting a raisin in your nose or her nose?”
Nephi: “No”
Me: “Nephi, do you have a raisin in your nose?”
Nephi: “It was by accident”

He had a raisin so far up there I could barely see it, but after some tense moments of blowing, out it came. I am sure he left wondering how I knew about the raisin since he had gone out of his way to tell me he wouldn’t do something like that. What can I say, mom is omniscient.


  • Haha!

    My kids were the worst at trying to get away with anything. When my oldest was about 7 he'd come up to me and say, "Mom, don't come into my room for 10 minutes." And I knew something was up.

    Once when we were all watching tv together, my youngest (who was about 7) suddenly said, "Nobody smell anything!"
    posted by Blogger Susan M at 1/12/2006 11:00:00 AM  

  • That is hilarious. I don't know what I would have done. Knowing me, I would have taught that to my toddler as I like to stick things up my nose for a laugh...straws is a good one for that.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/12/2006 11:08:00 AM  

  • ps. welcome and thank you for your post.
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/12/2006 11:08:00 AM  

  • Brandolyn, I love this one, what a story! It's true, mommies do know EVERYTHING. I once accused my mom of going to "Secret Mommy School" where she learned all kinds of tricks, and I'm proud to say that I've at least been through my freshmen year at that hallowed institution.

    Max once stuck a piece of pretzel up his nose while we were on an airplane, and we couldn't get it out. We waited until it got mushy and then suctioned it out. Ewwwww.
    posted by Blogger marian at 1/12/2006 11:26:00 AM  

  • Many years ago my friend noticed that her sone smelled. She scrubbed that poor kid raw tring to get him clean, but the smell got worse and worse. Then they discovered that he had shoved a piece of foam rubber up his nose. It was up there so long that the skin had begun to attach to it. It caused quite the nosebleed when they yanked it out.
    It wasn't until I was 19 or so that my brother and I discovered that mom always knew what we were doing because she had hung a mirror so that she could see out of the kitchen and down the hall. I hope I'm that smart someday.
    kage, my dad prefers gummi worms up the nose for a good laugh.
    posted by Blogger Mo Mommy at 1/12/2006 12:33:00 PM  

  • For us it's peas. Peas in the nose... oh the fun.

    My 4 year old likes to saunter by the doorway, obviously holding something behind his back, then tell me to "Mom, don't look at me!". Hmmm... how did I ever know?

    I wonder if our adult human machinations are as transparent to God as our children's are to us?
    posted by Blogger Tracy M at 1/12/2006 02:05:00 PM  

  • Oh Brandolyn - welcome and thank you so much - you had me laughing so hard.
    posted by Blogger chloe at 1/12/2006 03:49:00 PM  

  • Brandolyn,

    Cute, cute post. I can't imagine Nephi ever doing such a thing!!!
    posted by Blogger Jen at 1/12/2006 04:30:00 PM  

  • You are very lucky the raisin came out. My toddler stuck a whole bunch of very soft-cooked broccoli up his nose and it took a visit to the pediatrician, another trip to an ENT, and finally a trip to the hospital under full anesthesia to get it all out. Medical bills were over $1800.

    Funny, but really awful.
    posted by Blogger Allison at 1/12/2006 05:06:00 PM  

  • Brando,
    Well, well, well, look who's joined the Bloggernacle... Welcome! And nice intro post :)

    Say hi to Golden for me!
    posted by Blogger Rusty at 1/12/2006 05:21:00 PM  

  • Seriously, I have tears in my eyes because that story is so sweet and so funny.

    I love tracy m's question. I definitely think our own actions must at times seem laughable and transparent because of our Heavenly parents omniscience. You're never going to be able to "pull one over" on them. Good thing to remember.
    posted by Blogger TftCarrie at 1/12/2006 06:18:00 PM  

  • Rats! Carrie...I thought I was getting away with a lot...guess not. Mo, I do recall a gummy worm or three up my nose at various times...those are fun too. And tasty with a little snot on them...something about the sweet and salty...
    posted by Blogger Kage at 1/13/2006 05:21:00 AM  

  • I am about to reveal the rebel teen that I was so brace yourself, but when I was about 14, I had a hicky on the back of my neck, high in the hairline... I learned just how brilliant mothers are when my mom from out of no where, lifted my bum length hair to look at my neck and scold me. HOW did she know it was there? Being a mom now, I get it. We are all knowing when it comes to our kids. That intuition thing is unreal!!
    posted by Blogger Zinone at 1/13/2006 08:40:00 AM  

  • P.S. Great to hear from you Brandolyn. Miss you...
    posted by Blogger Zinone at 1/13/2006 08:41:00 AM  

  • I love it! I just never understood why kids would stick things up their noses. It didn't sound fun when I was little. Maybe my nose was always too packed with snot to even try...
    posted by Blogger Squiddy at 1/16/2006 03:12:00 PM  

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